Terrified

Ellie. Take a deep breath. I hope it’s not cancer but if it is oral cancer has a high cure rate, even with spread to neck lymph nodes. Ignore what Google says. Cure rates are 90% 

I have just been signed off after over five years clear. See my profile by clicking on my name. 
Waiting is awful and I am so sorry about your husband. No wonder you are beside yourself. Take off to your GP and get something to help you sleep and please please stay off Google. It’s a very good tool if you know exactly what you are looking for but it’s also full of alarming and inaccurate information. 
Stay with us. We can wait with you and beyond if needed. 
We are all remarkably resilient if we have to be so hold on. 
90% of referrals aren’t cancer so hold onto that too. 

Thankyou…I think I’m extra manic as to what I’ve just been through with my husband which has been the worst 2 years of my life…I’ve convinced myself that it’s going to be the worst case scenario because I’m a bit vulnerable at mo…I just don’t want to keep worrying my family x

Ellie. My first thought on being diagnosed was that I was going to be a burden on my family, that it was a waste of time and I should really just crawl away and die. It’s not true. We have such a capacity for love and care. It’s almost endless. I’m sure you will never be a worry to anybody but yourself. So just keep busy, cry a lot, kick the dog but trust in yourself. Come on here to cry too. 
You know I’m not a great believer in carers giving advice to patients but what they are good at is describing the way they felt about coping with the heartache of watching their loved ones. I bet you are more loved than you realise. 

PS. Why are you Bird67?

Tell us. Xx

I was a carer for my husband from beginning to end and it was a privilege my family are amazing ..I’ve been crying a lot lol…I think I just need to talk to real people and not bloody google…I’ve withdrawn into myself the last couple of days with the realisation this could be ‘real’…I don’t want to bother anyone whose going through this horrible disease as of course I haven’t even been diagnosed but I thought everyone has started off at the beginning like me and I think it will help me cope better x

I’m in Upminster Essex so my main hospital would probably be Queens Romford 

That was my husbands nickname for me…he was a very posh ex military man and I was an Essex bird…so he called me Bird and he was Posh lol

Bird67 said:

I don’t want to bother anyone whose going through this horrible disease as of course I haven’t even been diagnosed but I thought everyone has started off at the beginning like me and I think it will help me cope better x

It’s really no bother. We are the only ones who truly understand. We know the fear and we have time. I’m  well clear now but there are plenty of people here in treatment who are supporting each other. 

Bird67 said:

That was my husbands nickname for me…he was a very posh ex military man and I was an Essex bird…so he called me Bird and he was Posh lol

That’s wonderful. You must be so proud of him and he of you. 

I call myself Beesuit because I keep bees. It’s a passion that’s turned into a disease

I first joined these forums when Paul was diagnosed with GBM4 but sadly it was mainly for carers support as we know the outcome of his diagnosis maybe that’s why I am the way I am and I think even though I’m not alone I’m feeling very alone without him as he was my support…I love everything bees 

Bird67 said:

I’m feeling very alone without him

My first husband died six weeks after a stroke. Alone doesn’t cut it does it? 
When did Paul pass away? Do you have children?