Croaky voice

Thanks Chris. Sorry to hear you’ve been through it. We have a review at the Doctors next week for her depression. Hopefully Dad will let me go with her as he’s not good with mental health unfortunately

she has lost so much weight she can’t sit on a chair so things like puzzles are out. She’s never done anything like that in her life so I’m not sure we could persuade her anyway. My Mum is VERY stubborn

she went back on syringe feeds but refused so many she lost weight and the dietician insisted she went back on the pump. Mum hates the peg but won’t try to eat. She’s terrified of putting weight on t her bmi is in the severely underweight range. She has no bust and her skin is hanging but she can’t see that she’s underweight. She says things like oh I don’t need to eat I’ve got plenty of fat -shes skin and bones My brother thinks she’s anorexic as his step daughter has it and Mums language around food is the same as hers plus she can’t see how thin she is - she sees herself as fat but shes s a size 4 - she was a 14 so not particularly big

Such a stressful time. Dad has prostrate cancer and has oesophageal cancer in 2015. He lost his oesophageas and half his stomach but is in remission. She screams at him you don’t know what it’s like to have cancer, you have no idea what I’m going through. He finds that really upsetting

im just downloading. Thanks for listening. It means I can paint on a smile as I visit them every day and look after them - cooking for dad, doing housework, washing etc. Chatting to Mum etc

You are welcome, not heard of the saying "paint on a smile" but i fully understand what it means. Bless you and your family it sounds as if its been a tricky few years for you all. Stay strong but dont forget to look after yourself as well. 

                                                             Chris x

I had counselling and it does help if only to offload to an independent.  God knows how gruelling  and barbaric this treatment is but, you really cannot let it overtake your life. There are many dark days and nights when you question it all but I had to make a huge effort some days to get up and get on with it.  Her present attitude whilst totally understandable will not do her any favours.  Is there a support group nearby?  She really does have to help herself, all the people around you try so hard to keep you going too.  I lost my voice for over 2 weeks, its still croaky and especially after 'eating' such as it is I can barely speak.  Its all normal I'm told. I finished treatment for throat cancer in October, just had 12 week MRI results -  and the tumour is gone such a couple of hotspots. It may be a case of 'being unkind to be kind to your mum.   I wish her the best and I think you're all great for what you do for us.   X

You need to make sure you are kind to yourself!!!!