Croaky voice

Hi Eggie. Sorry to hear about your mum. 
Your mum is still really early on in her recovery so don’t be worried too much about her lack of eating as long as she is getting her pump feed  

It was six months before I was interested in food. I just ate to keep myself alive 

Anything new should be reported so I would contact her CNS again to arrange that she’s seen asap. 
She sounds depressed. It’s a dreadful treatment at the best if times but as we get older it’s more difficult to bear. She is suffering radiation fatigue on top i it all which is normal. 
Antidepressants. Lots of folk have them for a short while to help them through what is essentially PTSD

How long has she been on them? 

Counselling us available through Macmillan too. Have a look here

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/emotional-help/bupa-counselling-and-emotional-well-being-support

I would also take a look at this essay by psychologist Doctor Peter Harvey. 
It resonated with me for sure 

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Hi Eggie welcome from me also. Can’t add much to Danis post, but our treatment is pretty brutal and recovery can be king. She does sound depressed maybe a short course of anti depressants might helps her. Springs around the corner that may lift her spirits she dies need to attend regular appointments with ent to assess her progress as well 

Hazel xx

Hi. Can highly recommend Macmillan counselling. It was a lifesaver for me. 

Hi Eggie, so sorry to hear about your mum, it must be a big worry for you. Dani and Hazel have covered it , I would agree with Blod that your mum might find the 6 counselling sessions arranged via macmillan may help , I just filled in an online form and was contacted quickly. Take care x

She’s seen every four weeks and is on antidepressants- they’ve made no difference. We’re due back at Doctor next week. There is no way she’d accept counselling!  

Then have  a word with her oncologist when you go next time. Hold nothing back.  Your poor mum is frightened and down a rabbit hole. 

Hi. All I can offer us sane as Dani go to het  next appointment and say all you’ve told us and reiterate she needs help. Has she had her final scan results maybe she’s frightened of what they may be ?

Hazel xx

She’s due a scan at end of Feb. I go to all her appointments and will go to the one a week Wednesday. I’m used to speaking for her as they ask her questions and she bursts into tears and says you tell them so it won’t be a problem. 

Good evening Eggie, i went through this stage after my operations and treatment and was having trouble swallowing so was using a PEG. It took about 3 months before i showed any positive signs of feeling like this. Im afraid she is going through severe depression and it needs to be looked into a bit further, i never thought i would need anti-depressants or a seeking the help of a counselor but i would strongly recommend a different type of anti-depressant and in some way getting her to see someone, even getting her out the house will help.. It took me quite a while but i did slowly realise that i needed help. Maybe using a syringe rather than a pump will help her to break out of the routine by giving her something to do, sometimes its the small things that will slowly help her. What made it worse for me was the fact i could not speak but it was also a new experience for my counselor as he had never had sessions with a laryngectomy. I also found doing jigsaws a big help as all the family could get involved even looking at photos and talking about the good times can help break the negative cycle. I know its not easy and it can be very frustrating for the family, carers , etc to see your mum like this, i just wish there was an easy answer. I wish you all well in finding the right treatment that can help your mum overcome this difficult period. Take care.

                                                                                                        Chris xx

Eggie. When you see her oncologist tell him how badly affected your mum is. Ask him to make time to speak frankly to your mum. You say her treatment is aimed at a cure. She probably doesn’t believe it. She’s gone through all this treatment and us physically devastated. She’s probably in the point of surrendering and giving up. 
I do know how she feels. There were times when I curled up in a ball in the bathroom floor in the middle of the night and wailed at the injustice and pain. 
Her team haven’t done all this hard work to waste it. Ask them for some help. 
I know it’s hard. You and your dad must be at the end of your tethers too. 
Would you have time to speak to Macmillan yourself for some help? 
The number is at the bottom of my post. 
Hugs