How to make a friend eat

That's a really hard one Steff, it's really tough for someone who's never been in this situation to understand the difficulties involved. I was supposed to take six of those bottles a day and was lucky to get one down. I don't think there's any way he can be "persuaded" to eat, it'll likely just end up as an argument if my experience is anything to go by. What was his weight like pre-treatment, could he afford to lose a few stone (guy I met during treatment started at 18 stone and ended up around 13 and said it was the best diet he'd ever been on)?

He'll have a dietitian as part of his MDT so you friend could maybe have a chat with them, or ask hubby to. The team will be monitoring his weight anyway and will take action if needed; I was admitted for the last four days of treatment due to weight loss myself and taught how to use a pump feeder which fed me overnight, I then came home with it and continued with that almost exclusively for the next three months or so. I'm guessing, because you didn't mention one, that he's not already had a feeding tube fitted as an "insurance measure" so it may well be that they need to put one in.

One way or another they'll keep his weight up because it's so important not just during but after the treatment is done to help with the often lengthy recovery process.

Hi there. My dad too has no appetite. He takes mirtazapine, small 15mg dose, an antidepressant which increases appetite and also Dexamethasone steroid ( docs will only prescribe this for short term use). Hope this helps. Sarah 

Thanks for your post Mike! My friend lives in Germany (where I am from originally) and I stayed with him and his family (his 10-year old son is my godson) for 10 days over the Christmas and New Year period. To watch him sitting there and desperately trying to eat but not being able to was heartbreaking! It took him about 45 minutes for a piece of toast. He is about 1.85 meters tall and started with 81 kilos. He is now down to 70. I do see your point about ending up with an argument as this happens with him and his wife frequently, and happened with him and me too. He hasn't had a feeding tube fitted but after calling him today I found out that they will start infusions today at home. They were thinking about it on and off but postponed. So now they finally will go ahead! I am hoping this will help him! It is hard to be so far away and helpless. I have read your blog this afternoon, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with others! I am glad that you recovered and are still helping others! Steff

Thank you Sarah, I will tell my friend's wife about those 2 things and she can talk to the doctors. My friend is reluctant to talk about his eating habits to the doctors but it is obvious by now that he is not eating! Steff

Hi I am 16/weeks post radiotherapy and also around the 4 week period I was struggling to eat. I had the feeding tube fitted and had it for 45 days it does take the fear of not eating plus extra as liquid and med can be put in vain the tube.

best thing u did with the gloopy high calorie drinks was dilute 50/50 with water makes easier to swallow and give some yiu extra hydration .i took  20 mins to drink one tonstart with and had 5 a day plus feeding tube I am onky small and lost 2 stone .

tinsil cancer 

I have weitten a blog it may help yiu understand a strong well the treatment and pain.

www.radioactiveraz.wordpress.com

take care

hazel

Thanks Hazel, I will tell my friend about the diluting, sounds like a good idea. I wish you all the best for your ongoing recovery! I am very grateful for all the replies, not just for the advice but also for helping me to understand the situation my friend is in a bit better. Steff

I was in a similar situation

Had operation for jaw cancer in July, 6 weeks of Radiotherapy October.

Fortunately I started off overweight so lost 2 stone before my operation. 

I wasn't eating well for a couple of weeks after operation but started again before Radiotherapy started, in which time I lost another half stone.

2 weeks in to my radiotherapy I lost my appetite completely and stopped eating anything for about 8 weeks (I have a feeding peg so was on overnight feeds and fortisips)

I lost another 2 and a half stone but according to my BMI are officially healthy for the 1st time in 25 years :-)

I've started eating again now (still on 3 fortisips a day as well) and if anything are starting to put weight on again.

I would say the worst time is the 8 weeks from 2 weeks in to radiotherapy but if anything like me his appetite will come back after that.

Does he have a feeding peg?

Hi Penrod,

Sorry for the very late reply, and thank you for your post! I am very grateful to  everyone on here for taking the time and courage to support others! My friend had daily infusions to get some food into him and did have some appetite back for a few weeks but not gaining any weight.

And now he is diagnosed with mets on his spine, his operation is tomorrow, followed by more radiotherapy. He was in a rehabilitation clinic before the new diagnosis and started having pain in his back. Instead of alarm bells ringing in the doctors' ears they filled him up with pain killers and made him continue the sport treatment. His wife got alarmed and called the oncologist who immediately called him in to do the examination when they found the new tumor. Devastating! And in this awful rehabilitation clinic he lost another 3 kilos!

Stefanie