Any partners/spouses with tips on how to cope on day of Husbands surgery.

Hey she's only 2 so totally oblivious and makes us smile all the time so will definitely be in my plans. My employer has been amazing and I can work upstairs that day so will probably work 8-2pm andcan then spend the rest of the day with our beautiful little girl ️

Hi Jaxster 

It's a very long day so make sure you have loved ones around you for support and comfort .

We weren't able to go into the hospital with my husband Andy so dropped him at the ward at 6.45 and said our goodbyes , he then called us at 7.15 saying he was going straight to surgery , so at least andy didn't have too long to worry about it.

We came home from the hospital and took our Grandaughter ThiaEve to school. Then our daughter took me shopping , concentration wasn't good as had to keep looking at my phone ( even though they'd said at least 8 hours !! ) 

Our other daughter and son inlaw  joined us after work so we took ThiaEve to gymnastic class and went for coffee as that was closer to the hospital ( just incase they finished quicker than expected ) 

The call came whilst we were all together  at 6pm from the surgeon to say all had gone to plan and that Andy was in recovery so itcwould be best to visit in the morning . Lots of hugs and tears of relief after the longest day of our lives. 

We're all here to support you if you need to chat on the day or any other time !! I've found this group so helpful and supportive , Andy had surgery 22 April he has a follow up  appointment on Monday then onto post op chemo , itsca long journey but together we can all do this .

Sending love and hugs.

Vonn

Xx

Hi Vonn, I'm so pleased you managed to keep busy and I totally get not being able to concentrate when shopping.  My phone will be coming everywhere with me, even the loo!

David says he'll be asleep so won't know if he never wakes up but he'll be in amazing hands and they'll do their best for him  the 40% chance of stroke or heart attack is worrying but I never asked how many patients they'd had with complications..I'd rather not know!

I'll be so glad when he's in recovery and is OK bless him.

Good luck with the final rounds of chemo and hope it goes well x

Hi Jaxster373,

My husband had his op a year ago tomorrow, and it was around 8 hours. I dropped him off at the hospital on the morning and that was the hardest bit for me - walking away and leaving him as we'd faced everything else together. As other people have said, it was a bit daunting when the surgeon ran through the risks of the op that morning, but they have to tell you absolutely everything - and I just tried to put that to the back of my mind.

I went for a run - and then cleaned the house with Radio 4 on for something to distract me. I found I couldn't sit still and couldn't concentrate, so it worked for me (and I'm not usually that keen on cleaning!). The doctor called me as promised in the early evening and I was allowed to visit the next day. The doctor suggested visiting earlier rather than later as she said my husband would be tired later. I was surprised and relieved to find him sitting up (albeit full of wires and tubes) and able to talk to me - he was home after 9 days.

I hope your husband's op goes well, and that you find a way of getting through the day.

With very best wishes

C

Hi CW68,

How is your husband doing now that he’s one year post-op? Has he managed to return to some sort of normality regarding eating, energy levels, etc. I am 4 months post-op and it is very frustrating at times just how slowly my recovery seems to progress. My wife and I have a big holiday booked for Feb 25 and we are banking on me being fit for it by then. Thanks, CB

Hi CoolBlue

My husband is thankfully doing well. The op was a success and he recovered quickly but his one cycle of post op chemo resulted in a brief hospital stay (Sept 2023), so he felt he was starting from behind at that point.

Since then, he has done well, but it does take time. He's lucky - he retained his appetite and has been able to eat and drink anything he wants - just in smaller portions (which are only a bit smaller than pre op). He has occasional bad days - eating too much can result in feeling sick, some stomach pain and needing to sleep, but it's getting to be less often as he gets used to what is "too much". Sometimes it's a complete mystery, but we can happily go out for lunch and share a sandwich and a portion of chips, with a half pint of beer each and that's fine.

In answering your question I've realised that his fatigue has improved. He often needed to lie down, and would fall asleep immediately - any time of day. Now it's less often, although it still can happen. My husband also found it very frustrating, but found it helped if he had a sleep rather than try to fight it; he can have a nap for an hour and feels so much better for it afterwards.

We've just come back from our first holiday - 10 days away in Crete. I was nervous; he wasn't! It wasn't a seriously active holiday, but it went well. We ate out every night, and he only felt "off" twice; both occasions were a combination of maybe eating a little too much and/or sitting for too long after a meal and not having the chance to stretch out.

Not sure how old you are; my husband was 76 when he had the op and he's feeling pretty grateful at the moment. 

Best wishes with your recovery!

C

Sorry - when I say my husband has the occasional "bad day", I should say that it's not for a day; if he does feel as though he's eaten too much he lies down for an hour or so and is then usually fine.

Hi CW68,

Thankyou very much for your reply. It is always good to read positive stories like yours. I still get fatigued very easily and need to have a lie down and a nap most days. I also find having a stretch out after meals helps prevent stomach cramps. Fortunately I haven’t found anything yet that I am unable to eat (although I can only manage very small amounts of chocolate) and, as I was never really a big eater anyway, I don’t think I’ll find reduced portion sizes too much of a challenge. I’m just turned 60 this year and, like your husband, very grateful to have been given the opportunity of having the operation and the cancer removed. My wife and I are determined to make the very most of the future that could quite easily have been stolen from us. Thanks CB

Thank you, its so lovely to hear your husband is a year post op. Its daunting for us with the op looming and I'm so grateful that you took the time to reply to me. I'm not one for cleaning either but that's exactly my plan too, he won't recognise the place when he gets home 

Did your husband manage to have all 4 of his post op chemo? What happened with the first one that resulted in the hospital stay?

It's just incredible that you've been able to go on holiday and to hear he can now eat bread. My Husband misses eating bread and craves a bacon sandwich and is looking forward to the day he can have one, even if only a few mouthfuls.

My Husband suffers from fatigue now and we're hoping it won't be too much worse

What is about turning 60 that wakes up that sleeping monster in us?!! I was diagnosed just five days before mine