Any partners/spouses with tips on how to cope on day of Husbands surgery.

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My Husbands surgery is 1st July and we've been told will be 8-9 hours.

I was a complete wreck on the day of his staging laparoscopy but maybe it was because of the fear of what they'd find?

I don't want to be sitting around moping but also concerned that I won't be able to concentrate on anything. 

How did you deal with it and were you allowed to visit the next day?

  • On the day of my wife's surgery, I went to work. (I have since retired.) I just concluded that there was no point sitting at home fretting about it, and that actively doing something would provide a distraction. (Of course, I had my mobile phone to hand all day, in case anybody from the medical team were to ring.)

    My wife's surgery took about 8 hours, and finished later than expected since there were problems at the beginning with getting a spinal anaesthetic correctly inserted. So I just hung around at work after hours at my desk, until I finally got a the promised phone call from the surgeon who told me that things had gone to plan, and that my wife was now in ICU. I was able to visit her that same evening! She was very groggy, and looked like she'd been hit by a bus - but she was alive, and very pleased to see me.

  • Hi Jaxster373. Before my operation, I discussed with my husband what they might do. I wanted them to do something as it was going to be a long day. I kissed my daughter and my husband goodbye as I went down for my operation at 08.30. They got in the car and drove 2+ hours to go and see my elderly parents. My husband knew they’d be in a state of anxiety and thought that all being together would help. They went out for lunch and then they drove back. My husband was expecting a phone call at around 5.30pm but didn’t get the call until 7pm, so they were starting to worry, but nothing was wrong and it all had gone well. The surgeon phoned when I was settled and on the ICU ward. They came into see me the next day.
    i hope this helps you a little bit in thinking about what you can do. For me, the patient, I was totally oblivious, and happy to be under the care of such wonderful professionals. Wishing your husband all the best. Julie x

  • Hi Jaxter373,

    My wife would confirm that you definitely won’t be able to concentrate on anything so planning long car journeys might not be the best idea. You should also be aware that epidurals can take time to get in (mine took a good while) so this can add to the length of the overall operation. My wife was able to visit that evening and I was very pleased to see her. You should also be prepared for what to expect. Your husband will have multiple tubes and wires coming out of him and be attached to a plethora of monitoring equipment. This is all perfectly normal. Good luck to you both. I am now 15 weeks post surgery and had my last ever FLOT yesterday. CB

  • This was just one of my arms in ICU

  • Thank you for your reply and I had toyed with the idea of going to work but it's a Veterinary Hospital so if we get an emergency then I wouldn't be able to take a call if the Hospital were to call. A friend has offered to come round and I may ask my daughter to bring my little Granddaughter round as she'll certainly keep me entertained bless her.

  • Thanks so much and my Husband has said exactly the same as you. The nurse told me not to expect a call until around 8pm so I won't be able to visit that day. He has to go in the night before so will be an incredibly long wait to hear he's OK and I'll be so relieved to hear he's come through it OK and will be wanting to visit as soon as I can.

  • Hi thanks for the advice and I hadn't thought about the epidural etc and I'm really grateful for the picture as had no idea what to expect.

    The dietitian called him today re having pureed food for at least 3 weeks and that was a surprise as well.

    How long were you in Hospital? 

  • I was in for 16 nights altogether. I had a bit of a complication (chyle leak) a couple of days after my surgery so spent 8 nights in ICU and the rest on the main ward. Other people get out much quicker and some are in for longer. Just depends on personal circumstances.

  • Hi - I’ve just read your comment about seeing your little Granddaughter - they are the best medicine and (depending on age) are so oblivious to anything else, she will take your mind off the situation. Good luck and let us know how you are going on. 

  • Thank you, we've been told it could be 7 days upto 4 months depending on complications. We will take it as it comes and so glad you managed to get out after 16 nights after the leak. Well done on getting through it, you must be so relieved Relieved