Struggling, can’t stop crying. Feel like no light at the end of the tunnel!

I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time. Have  you spoken to your gp? They will be a me to give you beta blockers to keep you calm. I’m the same with my anxiety and really struggling and I’m just fighting every day to get thru the day. I’m waiting for ct scan results and it feels like it’s a never ending wait. I really feel your pain x

It does sound like you could be getting depressed and there is help. Please speak with your gp asap 

Hello Kiwi79

 I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so down.

 First I'm sending you a huge hug  

I suffer from anxiety and depression and have done for most of my life.

I found that keeping fairly busy doing things you enjoy actually does help quite a bit and taking one day at a time.

I enjoy reading, listening to podcasts, even taught myself to paint.

 There is light at the end of the tunnel.

I cried through most of my chemo sessions !

I felt so so lonely and scared, but remember this is a temporary situation.

I also found that chatting to the MacMillan nurses greatly relieved my fears and worries.

I know it's incredibly hard to go through all of this, but remember they are doing what's best for you and you'll get through this.

I spoke to MacMillan and my cancer nurse is arranging counselling for me.

I have never suffered from any anxiety or depression etc before so it is all new to me.

I worry about side effects of medication so don’t want to take more unless I have to!

Just hoping I snap out of it but realise it’s not as easy as that!

Thanks for messaging! Xx

Thank you for your reply!

Anxiety and mental health is something new to me and trying to navigate how to deal with it. It doesn’t help I’ve gone from working full time and being active to just little dog walks as I don’t feel up to much else.

I’m hoping counselling will help but I’m worried I can’t cope and won’t get through it. I think my hormones are playing a big part too with coming off the pill and i suspect I am going through the menopause too so all adding up!

Want to avoid more medication too if possible! 

x

hormones have a lot to answer for don't they?

I think so but again all this is new to me. Only just came off the pill 5-6 weeks ago and been on for years! 
Everything happening at once and I think adding up and all contributing to my low mood 

You will get through this it sure is a rollercoaster of a ride, one day I feel very positive and then other days am emotional wreck. Am on the same treatment as you, I had a bad reaction on my first chemotherapy paclitaxel they stop it for 2 hours and tried again and it went ok, but it scare me for the rest of my treatment am on my 9th one this week coming and side effects have calmed down, I drink lots of water whilst have chemotherapy, and avoid caffeine the day of chemotherapy. I got diagnosed the end of October waiting 5 week for the results, which I found the most stressful part, even thou it was good news I just could not wait to start a treatment plan and do know what am dealing with. I will be going to have EC am like you scared as it supposed to be worse. I will have surgery as well a lumpectomy but depending on my genetic testing results which am still waiting for as my mum had breast cancer she had breast cancer for 15 years. I also had to stop working and I understand what you mean about being lonely even thou you have got a good network support, I am the same. I just say to my self now just deal with one day as a time, I do think walking helps alot with mental health. Your treatment won’t be forever that’s what I always say to myself. Be positive when you can and when you want to cry let it out x

It wasn’t good news meant to say 

Thank you for your reply. It sounds as though your journey and treatment plan is very similar though you are slightly further on.

It’s the fear of the unknown too like you said about the EC. I hope it goes well for you!

I try to get out for a walk each day but am missing my exercise classes and swimming (I don’t feel up to some classes and not sure if I can swim?! I need to ask. I have a port not a PICC so maybe?!)

I just want to fast forward this year for it all to be over! X