Struggling, can’t stop crying. Feel like no light at the end of the tunnel!

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Diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in November. So far I have had 4 of my PC treatments and 2 immunotherapy (I had reactions to both paclataxil and pembro) and I am struggling with anxiety.

I can’t stop crying and can’t see an end to all this. I have another 8 of these treatments then 4 EC cycles before surgery and then more radiotherapy/chemo/immunotherapy.

Ive heard EC is worse than PC and I’m struggling with this. I don’t know if I can cope! Even the 6 months to surgery seems a million miles away.

I have a fiance and good support network but I feel so lonely like nobody understands what I’m going through and I’m just sitting each day willing the day away.

I spoke to MacMillan but didn’t feel like I got a lot from it. They told me what I’m feeling is normal and not to be so hard on myself etc but I know all this but don’t know how to deal with my emotions and get through it. I am usually a strong person and don’t know what’s happened to me, all I do is mope and cry Cry 

How do I get through this?!

  • Re the port - once the wound is healed it is sterile so can be submerged. I swam and did aqua classes throughout chemo with a port. Your immunity will be impacted (especially when you switch to EC) so you might want to be careful of the risk of picking up a virus in a busy environment. My oncologist was generally supportive of exercise but you may find caution rules if you ask the question. For me, the mental health benefit outweighed other considerations. 

  • Thanks for this. I have been given conflicting advice.

    i only swim during adult lane swimming sessions so not too busy/crowded. May give it a go but not been for around 6 weeks so won’t be able to do as much anyway. May just help mental health?! Can’t hurt hey?! X

  • Hi, I just found this old post and wondered how you were getting on with EC? I have a week off and am them starting it on 19th and I’m so worried about the side effects.

    Hoping it’s not as bad as I fear and I won’t be stuck in bed the entire 3 weeks of the cycle!

  • How did you get on with EC? I’m due to start alongside immunotherapy on 19th and really worried about side effects and being laid up in bed the entire 3 weeks!

  • I'm nor sure if it helps, but I had 3 X EC and 3 X Docetaxel - I finished my last round three weeks ago. The first EC knocked me a bit sideways in terms of feeling tired, but I felt pretty ok through them. I worked from home and just rested when I needed to. I felt a bit sick once but stuck rigidly to the anti-sickness pills. We are all different, but I found Docetaxel much harder. 

  • Thank you for your reply! Were you in bed 24/7 with EC or just more tired than normal? I’m dreading being bed bound and how this will affect my mental health and how many days I will feel really bad before I start to improve. I will also be having immunotherapy every 3 weeks at the same time.

  • Hi. Sorry to jump in! I'm now 4 days post my 1st EC chemo.

    Whilst I have got up everyday, I have been napping alot (I'm def not a napper usually) and going to bed at 8pm. I've found I'm better in the mornings, but flag by mid afternoon. When I've felt up to it, I've tried to potter in the garden or to go for a short walk. 

    I have mainly been struggling with the nausea and now constipation. I struggled to eat the evening after the chemo and coukd only nibble the following day, but am eating much better now, just smaller pirtions and being selective what I eat; I've lost the taste for my beloved coffee!

    I've upped the anti-sickness meds on advice from my BCN, so hope it'll ease.

    I was taking steroids for the 1st 3 days...today is my 1st day without them, so not sure how that will effect me.

    So I'd say so far, its not been pleasant, but has been manageable so far.

    I'm on 3 cycles of EC (1 every 3 weeks), followed by 9 weekly Paclitaxel.

    Hope all goes well for you xx

  • No please do! I’m glad to hear it hasn’t been too bad for you so far, and Im hoping the nausea settles soon and finishing the steroids doesn’t worsen any signs.

    Im hoping I can manage to get up each day and potter about and I have an energetic little dog that likes a walk! But she can always play in the garden if I can’t get her out.

    Keep going, you’re doing great! Would be good to know how you’re getting on in a couple of days? X

  • Thank you.

    Of course, I'll let you know. Likewise, keep me posted how you get on xx

  • Thank you, I’d appreciate that! I will do too. I’m starting on 19th. I’ve had 12 weekly sessions of PC and am having a week off this week so Friday we are going to Malaga for a few days to try and take my mind off it a little! Xx