New diagnosis

Hi,

Triple negative breast cancer diagnosis 4 days ago, not coping well.  Health care professional myself and need to regain control and understanding. 

Desperate to push through required outstanding investigations and get to treatment ASAP. 

Petrified of mastectomy,  hoping for lumpectomy,  dreading chemo 

  • Sitting here  reviewing papers to try and understand the details of my histology report  !!!

    Its not that i don't trust the team, its somehow that if i can understand it, i can control it at least a bit !!!

  • What is your nursing specialism ?? And do you mind me asking how old you are ?

  • I get the not being in control !! It’s horrible being the patient and not the Nurse !! But i found after the initial shock I could ask in-depth questions .

  • Hi,

    Sorry to see you here. I'm also a nurse and hated the lack of control. I'm neither an expert nor a lay person. I know enough of the negatives, but not the positives. I was told not to Google, but I  know the sites to go to and had already been there. Once I knew the cancer I had, I googled more - I just didn't get the answers I needed.

    Then, I realised researching was making me worse and had to back off for a bit - it was too overwhelming. I couldn't change anything so I did have to tell myself to trust the team (what I would tell an anxious patient), but it wasn't easy.

    I did reach out to the local Maggies center and had a chat with someone, which helped. I did find once I had a surgical plan, I was much better. I also saw my MRI at an ultrasound appointment, which helped - I could see the enemy. 

    This is the worst time. Be kind to yourself 

  • I’m so sorry that you find yourself here. Like you I am also a nurse, aged 41 and diagnosed late September. I am still angry that this is happening to me and mad at myself for missing a massive lump in my right breast that has probably been happily sitting there and growing away. I don’t drink or smoke and live a healthy lifestyle given a family history of diabetes and high blood pressure (which I also have since my 20’s!).

    Breast cancer was something I never considered, of course I did regular checks and still dismissed or explained away symptoms I was experiencing for at least a year until the obvious symptom of nipple discharge presented itself!

     I get how you feel out of control but we have to believe that things will fall into place with time. My surgery has been delayed a 4th time, the plan is still very loose as I’ve had to have further biopsies over several weeks. I get a final plan on Wednesday. I’m hanging in there with the help of family and friends and being on this site which I’m finding really helpful.

     I wish you the best in your journey. You have to believe that things will get easier.

  • Good luck with your surgery and the rest of your journey you can and will do it !! Sending all you lovely ladies a big hug xx

  • i was the same, send me the reports, i read and read and checked it helped me feel some control. 

    it will feel less out of control when you know the treatment plan, what i did was checked here and breast cancer org for someone who was with a similar diagnosis and treatment plan. i found someone on breastcancer org and i read her posts. it helped me to see how things may unfold. and to hear things will get better.

    don’t google, stick to people who have been there, done that. and find help here if you need it. hugs

  • Yep,  its definitely about control,  incredibly complicated,  cant pretend to understand it all, but just having it made me feel better - mad !!!

  • not mad, information helps, because while you dont understand all of it, you can ask it to be explained

  • I think because i work in maternity services where we are very open and honest about treatment etc,  and we're used to sorting things very quickly,  i struggle with any delays or lack of open and honest conversation