Giving up treatment

Hello Foxy Mama

I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. I am not in your situation but feel for you. Please if there is a Macmillan Centre (or Maggie Centre) in your hospital please do go to them and talk about how you feel or ring the Macmillan nurses on here. If your GP is at all approachable do see them. Hope you get a reply from someone nearer to your situation soon but remember you are not alone there are people and groups out there for us all. Much love xxxxx

Thank you Rozalia, my local hospital Macmillan cafe has never got anyone around and I can’t find groups near me it’s just all got too much at the moment, my partner bailed on me when my picc was put in as he couldn’t cope, so I sit at home alone most of the time. I feel lost and don’t have much fight left x

• Do they have anyone manning the office at your Maillan centre if so ask them about groups or look up the phone number for your local centre. The help line here could probably give it to you. Besides informal get togethers mine did various sessions. I took advantage acupuncture and maybe the most uplifting was the wellbeing make up session. Do talk to your GP. I found mine really supportive. Health watch is another organisation that could possibly point you in the direction of support. Xx

Hi, it must be difficult without strong support of friends and family, but there are a couple of things that might help. You can give the lovely folks here at MacMillan a call on 0800 808 0000 and chat to them about how you're feeling and any ideas on how to cope with the treatments.

Rozalia suggested any groups nearby to meet people. There's a link here that might help you find this. Local Support Groups link

Is there anyone you can talk to, a friend at work, your HR team, your boss? In my experience people often want to help and aren't sure how so just asking someone for a coffee and a chat might be an idea.

best wishes 

I really do understand how you are feeling. I feel like I have been treated like a child and I am told nothing. On 4 July I had my first hospital appointment. I was examined, had two mammograms, 2 biopsies and an ultrasound. Two weeksater I was back for the results. There is a 2.5cm tumour and one lymph node showed up. The doctor didn't go into technical detail only that he would perform a lumpectomy and after I would have chemo and radiotherapy. I pulled a face because I don't want medication, but the doctor reassured me  that we would discuss this when the time came. He also said I needed an MRI scan because he wanted to check the whole area in more detail. Four days later I had the MRI scan and was sent for 3 days later. Again their was more waffle about uncertainty and being extra careful. I was then told I needed a CT scan. Why? Why? Why? He then dropped a prescription on me for Letrozole. He said it would stop any further growth, could shrink it and that I would be on it until 11 September when the operation would take place.

I don't understand why the op is so far away and why I am being put on medication when they know I am anti medication. There was no discussion, just a whitewash. I went home and rang my Macmillan care nurse up to express my anxiety, panic,confusion and anger. Her answer was patronising at best, 'just take the tablets for me'. Seriously? Will she have the side effects? I have serious concerns about the side effects because of other problems I have. I am also bipolar and have BPD. 

I don't know what to do. I don't trust them now. Why give me tablets and in such a devious way. I am sat here with them ad I am heartbroken. I have no family and no support. I feel bullied and not listened to. Should I take these horrible tablets and risk serious side effects? Or should I just give up and let fate take its course. I'm thinking the latter. Anyhelp or advice would be so welcome 

Hi SusiQ, 

sorry to hear that you feel so bad too, I’m struggling probably as much because I don’t feel I can ask for help, I have a son still at home but out at work most of the time, he helps in the house but it’s more emotional support I need and I just don’t have that, if I had someone with me in sdec I might have stayed calm enough to have a cannula but my fear got the better of me. I’ve been told several times that as far as they are concerned I’m cancer free… but they’ve put me on chemo then I have radiotherapy with no real explanation as to why it’s very confusing. The macmillan office at the hospital always seems shut, the cafe space they have never had as none there I don’t feel I’m getting answers for so many questions but if course when I have an appointment with consultants I forget to ask things that I only think of afterwards

It's funny how your mind goes blank the minute they ask 'any questions'? It takes a while for the information to sink in. I was literally given the prescription as the appointment finished, so there was  no time to object. I was also absolutely floored by having yet another scan and the operation date being put so far back. I asked about that but was fobbed off with 'what a wonderful tablet I was being put on'. I later said to my care nurse, if it's so good why aren't we all on it. They are just fobbing me off. There is obviously more going on and they are not saying. They are playing a game I don't want to pay. They kick the ball and when I get closer they kick it further away. I'm not playing any more. It's cruel and unfair. We don't deserve to be tortured this way. I will accept my fate and die in peace without putting myself through one vile procedure after another, and side effects that will cripple me. The nurse has not been honest with me. She dropped in that another node has been found,when she was on the phone and then tried to backtrack. I can't do it, I really can't 

I hope you can find someone to talk to in a support group or via macmillan x it’s a tough journey not made any easier by the fact that everyone has different treatment plans which means it’s hard to find others who can give advice on exactly how it will affect you or why these things are done the way they are Take care x

Hi Foxy mama

The reason they are giving you chemo and radiotherapy is to mop up any stray cancer cells you may have.

Wishing you the best of luck with your treatment.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi SusiQ

Sorry to hear that you were diagnosed with breast cancer and you don’t feel you are being listened to. While it’s completely up to you whether you take the medication or not you could maybe try it and if you find the possible side effects too much you could stop taking it.

I also suggest that if you feel up to it you ring the Macmillan helpline to talk to someone about how you are feeling. The number for the helpline is 0808 808 0000. It’s open 7 days a week from 8 am to 8 pm.

Wishing you the best of luck whatever you decide to do.

Best wishes

Daisy53