Tired and down

Deal , wigs are us here we go !!! 

Hi ! Oh thank you for your message . I’m a  bit of a prat when  it comes to messaging . How do I do that ? It’s so nice to be able to speak ,so to speak , with other  women who “ get what you are saying .” Whilst my partner of 16 years is trying, I sometimes think his best is not good enough .
Also the mother in law is a problematic force who, I know, has no time for me and I could write a book on the daft and insensitive comments she has made during my whole relationship with my partner . I now find there is no going back on my thoughts to that woman .In other ways , weirdly , I have found having breast cancer oddly refreshing in that I no longer give a a…, what people think and am finding my own pathway in dealing with this awful situation. Gong workshops on line have been fantastic for me and so easy to access , especially during the night . Terrible insomnia . Do you ? Please reply back when you can ?

Penny xxxxx

Hi Harleybear,

People who take their own lives have mental health and depression issues. They are, having known a few, brave people who irrationally think there is no choice.

Cancer and mortality are a totally different kettle of fish. Cancer is not in your control, you cannot "end" it.

In my opinion once you are on the treatment treadmill you are a participant in your disease and therefore part of it. It's entwined around the trunk of your life like a poisonous  vine. Try not to let it cancel out the wonderful person you are. Amazing hospital staff are trying to help you, so have faith in them and hold out your hand of trust...

Please let the black cloud you have over you gradually disappear . Like all clouds the gentle wind will blow the darkness away and reveal the soft light of sun . At night the moon will hang gracefully over you . 
Clouds appear and disappear. Your despair will be replaced by hope and optimisation .

You will gain new levels of strength and energy . 
Peace

Penelope 

Hey thanks for your thoughts . I totally get the mental health side of things as have been suffering  for a while now . During the last year I have thought long and hard to the point of planning ways to leave this earth . The pain I was in and am still in  is so hard to live with .  I feel now that this cancer is karma as I didn’t value life before .  I have an option now to choose to fight and hopefully live , or give in to this awful disease .  I feel I would be making my choice out of fear and worry that my life will once again be filled with emotional pain once the battle is over . Take care of you xxx

You can overcome this . Your pain will subside , gradually and not quick enough but subside it will .

Hold on tight to the rail ,your boat is going through choppy and uncharted waters. 
You will find your way through and reach a new and exciting destination . One you would never of reached before .

Hold on tight .

xxxx

What a lovely analogy . Thankyou xxx

Thanks PenelopeJ57   for replying.   Agree we do find our unique pathway to deal with what we never asked to happen and dealing with certain people, have had to toughen up big time that's for sure.  I'll get back to you soon about m-i-l  stuff meanwhile am sorting out a family thing as the 'eldest' expected to be the leader and counsellor rolled into one while dealing with aftermath of little c and mental side too cannot be underestimated.     

Its a fine mild day at last on the north east coast and little things make me smile like hearing and seeing the robin has returned and tweetering away on the tree branch.

May your Sunday go well as it can, any bright moments are special grab 'em when you can.  xx  

Thankyou for your  ever pragmatic words . Gosh, it seems our paths are similar . My only son , who is 29, has stepped up magnificently into roles of cook , cleaner , bottle washer and transport chaperone. Quite  frankly, at times , putting my partner , age 45, to bloody shame . 
You enjoy a wonderful Sunday to

Peace

Penelope 

Good on you PenelopeJ57

what a strong woman you are not letting people take you down.

Katrina