Tired and down

Sorry to hear you are not feeling yourself. Its not nice and sometimes hard to put your finger on it and why. I certainly have felt like I have been through the emotional ringer. it is exhausting some days and I'm sure my brain made it worse by running off on a tangent and popping all sorts into my head - its been emotionally weary. I have just taken it one day at a time.

I don't know you and your coping mechanisms but I've had to resort to trying to distract myself - write worries and questions down, watch rubbish tv, go for a walk, listen to some upbeat music, read a book etc. I think it also depends on you as a person as to what makes you feel a bit better. No one wants a diagnosis but once I knew my treatment plan then I could see a way forward. I was a little impatient as some things took longer and waiting for appointments was hard. I moved hospitals for radiotherapy and that took ages.

If you are needing more support, perhaps try the Macmillan phone line. Sometimes its quite therapeutic to talking to a stranger who can see things from a different perspective. This is not your fault and the only wish I have for you is to get through treatment and be well on the other side. Some trips are longer than others but it will be worth it. Keep going. Hugs xx

Hi Harleybear - sorry to hear you're feeling a bit rubbish. I am waiting for treatment to start and feel guilty about feeling tired now as I know it's going to get much worse before it gets better! Your body is fighting on all fronts, and worry and stress just add in to the mix. 

If you can find a way to switch off for ten mins that will help a little. But just be kind, sleep when you need to and listen to your body. xx

I am feeling the same.  Feel like it is just bad news after bad news.  Gone from 2 cm lump and lumpectomy/reduction and no abnormality to lymphnodes on ultrasound, to 3.4cm lump and possible precancerous cells across large part of breast, lymph nodes look abormal on MRI and booked in for mastectomy on 22/10/22.  Having more biopsies pf breast and lymph nodes Monday but am not expecting good news from this.  My positivity is fading by the day.  It is just so hard at the moment and I get you but we have to dig deep and get through this and we can.

Take care xx

Hi Mel it’s so hard isn’t it .  I was initially told this was DCIS , large tumour but contained and caught early . 2nd biopsy revealed it was TNBC grade 3 .  They said no lymph nodes on ultrasound but like you I am expecting them to say they are affected .  I wish they were getting this out of me first but have 5 months of chemo before surgery .  I am fully expecting the MRI next week to say it is in both breasts.    My family just assume I will take all the treatment offered but in reality I am not sure I want more suffering . Xxx

Hello Heather , glad I am not the only one who is so tired .  I keep telling myself this is not normal , trouble is the exhaustion feels real .  I just want to sleep all the time . I am still trying to work and failing miserably but don’t want to stop until I absolutely have to .  Maybe it is putting too much stress in me to try to keep things going xx

Thanks , I know that feeling .   My head goes  off to the worst places xx

So sorry to hear you are struggling with other issues on top of this diagnosis. That must be doubly stressful and exhausting.  Are you managing to sleep? I got some Nightol tablets, don’t use them everyday and usually only take half a one but they help on those nights I know I’m going to be awake for hours. 
Hoping you resolve personal stuff soon and start your treatment and then by the start of next summer you’ll be well again and all this will be behind you and you can really enjoy next Summer.  
Try and have faith in your treatment and trust in your doctors.  I know it’s so hard I’m currently awaiting results after surgery.  Heard lots of positive stories where chemo wasn’t too bad so I will go for it if necessary.  
It’s so hard I know but you can do this! Hang on in there x.  

Harleybear Hi...I do get you and feel for you too. Hang in there. Night times are the worse. Even though tired my eyes just ping open! My stresses/anxiety is so bad that my chest seizes up, upped back feels hot, headache and dry mouth. I am still at work, and feel so unproductive, could not even hold my head up some days! Wasn't smiling for days ...till I saw a video that told me to smile!!

I decided to then turn things around, breathing exercises u get off YouTube helps and whenever I worry, I hop on my exercises bike and just feel the pedal beneath my feet put the TV on with travel programs and pretend I am cycling by the beach of exotic places. Whatever you do, try different thing which can bring you the focus and keep your mind straying ...easier said than done. 

You got this. Write your problems or worries down and when you come out the other side, you will be able to read back on how far you will have come. I am hoping to start journaling. Writing helps slows down the mind. Please don't think I am preaching but these are some ideas I found that helped me. May work for some, not for others.

All the ladies here, reading their stories have made me believe so much how women's resilience, and how we are supportive of one another and together we can beat BC.  

You take care, we are here for you, so don't feel you have to face this alone.

C x

Hi harleybear, so sorry your feeling down. I am feeling down at the moment to. Was you originally told your tumour was epc.  I know these are rare or is it idc xx

Hi Shaz yes was originally told it was EPC .     Sorry you are down as well. It is so hard isn’t it xx