Tired and down

Harleybear you are doing well, I've also had these thoughts but being in this support group has inspired me, so many amazingly kind caring people.

we will keep moving forward.

PenelopeJ57,

You are a HERO, well done You through all the hurdles you are coming up against.

Lots of good wishes,

Katrina.

Harleybear, keep trying your team it's not good enough that they haven't replied keep on at them. 

I'm quite a positive person really but it's difficult to keep it up all the tim. Enjoy your break

Harleybear,

If by can leave a message for your breast care nurse with your name, phone no and brief message to call you..it may take time but like mine she will come back to you..you are not bothering her, that's what she there for..to help support you.

Take care of YOU.

Katrina x

Hi penny Thankyou for your kind words .  So sorry there are other strains in your life .  My mother is currently waiting for a vein bypass and since she cares for my dad it is going to be difficult for all of us too .  My partner has been great actually and am really surprised .  He has his own Heath issues which I normally deal with .  After the first couple of weeks when he was very much in self pity mode he’s been great . I did have to tell him that talking  about me not being here is not helpful . At the end of the day he’s a man and they need it spelled out for them !   
It’s strange Anger has not really been a factor with me , I just feel so incredibly sad .  The issues I am still dealing with are also making things really tough .    it can be very lonely , especially at night . Turning to this group has been helpful , sometimes I just want to talk to someone that understands as well though .  

what type of BC did they say you have ? Did you get positive news from the surgery ?   I think you should tell your partner what you need from him at this time .   Xxx

Hello Katrina , it’s strange but it is comforting knowing that there are others that feel the same ways as I do. But at the same time I don’t wish these feelings in anyone else either , so sorry you too feel this way .  Where are you with your journey xx

Hi Harleybear, you should have heard what my husband said to me when I had to make a decision between 3 options for surgery, knowing nothing hardly about cancer at all. He told me just to get on with it and asked why I couldn't make the decision - I mean one of the options involved about 12 hours of surgery and being in ITU for some days !!! I was very upset and that's when I seriously got in touch with other women who'd been in a similar position to me. They were an absolute Godsend and stopped me from leaving home more than once !!! I also found that inspirational music helped me : Coldplay - Fix You (Official Video) - Bing video.  It helps also I think to have faith in your Breast Surgeon and medical team that they can and will fix this whole mess.

Hi, I feel the same as you about chemo, but then feel, okay does it want me to be scared so I don't have it, well I am stronger than that. Mine is considered stage one with the size, its grade 2 and my lymph nodes were clear just my her2 was positive, so seeing it as my belt and braces.  It is doable because women and men do it every day  so have good support, and going to give it my best shot and take one day at a time. Best wishes xxx

Thanks I wi try again on Monday .  I have always been someone who doesn’t want to feel a nuisance but maybe now is the time to start putting what I need first .   One other thing that I am so worried about is weight gain .  I took control of my weight in July and joined a slimming group . I have now lost 2st 3lb .  I have not wavered since my diagnosis, which is a huge surprise to me as any difficulties in my life usually has me reaching for wine and junk food ( been in that cycle for nearly a year ) .   Anyway I want to continue on this journey but feel I am going to get derailed by chemo and steroids .  The thought of undoing all the good I have achieved and losing my hair has me visioning  looking like an enormous Humpty Dumpty by Christmas.  Anyone else experience difficulties with weight gain during this process . 

Thanks , you take care too . I did leave a message . I will try again xx