Starting to avoid people because of the silly things they say!!

Just when you think you’ve heard it all  blimey! X

Yes here’s hoping  honestly x

Ok! I think you’ll like this one. Discussing possibility of a tattoo to cover diep and recon scars with a friend and showed my tummy scar.

Without a hint of humour in her voice and in a genuinely envious tone she said! ‘God look how flat your stomach is!! I’d go through all that for the tummy tuck’ ‍ really??? You would??? Are you f’ing mad?? Did you not see what a shitty year I had???

Well obviously she has no idea what she is talking about, which also means she is completely oblivious to what you had gone through and are still going through. The frustrating thing is that such people many times will reassure you that they understand, when you know with absolute certainty that they are clueless.

 Yet ironically has seen me pretty regularly throughout and was a great help. People can be very strange! X

Wow!! Some people do not engage their brain before speaking, I can be guilty of that sometimes but that comment is unreal!! So she would have cancer for vanity reasons. Hope you wasn’t too offended by her comment? Xx

Anna, I think I have finally put my finger on what was really bothering me about what she said -- she was basically telling you that it was worth it, having cancer, along the lines of, "lucky you!" which trivialises and makes-small of all the stuff we here are all so familiar with, and can make a person feel that they shouldn't complain about the bad stuff because hey, you got a flat tummy out of it! 

Exactly! Bang on!  luckily I’m not easily offended of the last year or so would’ve seen me done for murder no just incredulous! X

I get the brave word said to me alot by some family.

I'm thinking I'm not brave ,I want to run ,run miles away,I'm an anxious mess, Im scared of life.

My mum Said ,  but you went in to hospital, had chemo ,had surgery, and faced it all, that's what brave/ strong is.

I'm like yeah ok ,

I wish I had a good answer but some folks are just not aware.  If they were they would never say those comments. I haven’t had to deal with too much of this as I was very choosy who I shared the diagnosis with and I must admit the men were more empathetic!!! I feel for you as you have had a year of doo doo!!

This forum is wonderful.  I have not tried any of the natural cures that a few suggested to me especially the lemon snd garlic one.  I politely told her that I had eaten so much of those 2 items that I never should have gotten breast cancer in the first place.  Then I just say thank you for thinking of me but I am taking the conventional approach.  
Barbara