Just been diagnosed and terrified

Hi ER45,

I had a lumpectomy nearly four months ago and lymph nodes removed, I finished my radiotherapy last week. It is a shock when you are told, but it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. I know it’s hard not to think the worse, but the strides made in modern cancer medicine nowadays is quite amazing.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, energy bills and lots more. They will also help with your children, helping them to understand what is happening, Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

I am going for my results tomorrow and I am sitting here absolutely terrified. I know they are going to give me a diagnosis as I’m 49 and when they did physical exam they found a lump in a lymph node too. I had several mammos, ultrasound and then 2 biopsies. They know what they’re looking for so there’s little doubt in my mind. No family history so it’s a complete shock. I haven’t even waited that long, just a week, but it’s horrendous trying not to think the worst. Thinking of you and hope you’re ok. I know the advances in treatment are phenomenal but that horrible part of your brain that thinks the worst, sometimes takes over

This is exactly what situation I was in a week ago. All looked like cysts but biopsies done including one lymph node and just knew it was cancer. Currently on holiday so been driving back and forth for appts but last day today. I feel completely fine which makes it even harder as it’s currently all just normal. Thanks for replying x

Is it just one person in the room when you get diagnosed? Or is the cancer nurse there too? I feel like if there’s more than one person then I will know before I’ve even sat down. Nurse last week told me to bring husband with me tomorrow and she was so sympathetic and lovely so I know they know and the biopsies were done just to confirm and get type and stage etc. I don’t know where to put myself today. I cannot imagine going to the hospital and walking in there tomorrow, I’m so scared x

There was a nurse in the room for me but don’t know if that’s always the case. I don’t know what to do with myself either and it’s awful feeling. Just taking each hour at a time and hoping things go well for you tomorrow x

Hello,

I absolutely  know how you feel. I was older than you, 55 at diagnosis.  I had 2 lumps and lymph nodes under arm affected. I was terrified.  However,  almost 5 years down the line (Nov) I'm still here. The treatments are so effective and you will be looked after. We are all here for you 

Love julie

I was diagnosed six months ago aged 46. I recall the shock and fear you are describing and genuinely believed at the time life would never be the same again. I am sorry you are going through this, but, I guarantee you will feel better when you have your plan and treatment is underway. As has previously been suggested a journal is great to get out thoughts and feelings. I also genuinely believe being physically active has helped my recovery massively both physically and emotionally. Breast cancer does not automatically mean the end of the world like I had thought and life for many people, myself included, can be great once again. Best of luck with everything. x 

Hi,

Welcome to the forum. I was told at my biopsy that it was definitely cancer. I waited what felt like an eternity to get the results. It wasn't a long wait. The doctor told me the results, the BCN was in the room and she spent more time with me to make sure I understood. I had my partner with me as I was all over the place and knew I would only hear the negatives.

As it was I have her2neg er positive. Mine was grade 3 so I am having 4 cycles of chemo, my nodes were clear but my tumour was invasive. The chemo is preventative to catch any cells that may have travelled in the blood. I will then have radiotherapy and hormone suppressants. I've just had my second cycle on Friday. It's doable. We are strong and can fight this together.

Happy to answer any questions regarding treatments I've had so far.

The macmillan nurses are very good also. You can self refer to cancer care also for support, counselling and alternative therapies.

Good luck in your recovery xx

Hi ER45,

Totally understand how you’re feeling, You’re in the worst bit - everyone says it - the waiting game!

I too, have two little girls and my thoughts were exactly the same, when the diagnosis was confirmed I actually became calmer and was just like ‘let’s go, get it out of me.’ 
It’s been 9.5 weeks since my diagnosis and 8 weeks today from my op - mastectomy - recovered really well. Just had my first chemo, this week, on Tuesday. Little bit of nausea, but ok and manageable. 7 to go!

I also got the shock, last week, I’m carrying a BRACA gene after they tested my bloods. BC is in my family, but was hoping it was just coincidence. My mum has just had her bloods taken to see if she has it too, which is quite likely. Or to see if it’s come from my dad’s side of the family. 

Once you get your plan I promise you’ll feel calmer and ready to just deal with everything, that does get thrown at you, for you and your girls. Cancer and treatment - the unwanted gift that keeps giving!  X

Thank you so much for your message. My girls are being so great but I just find it so hard that they are having to go through this. I also feel so fine that still can’t believe it’s happening. I was meant to get treatment plan yesterday but the receptor results weren’t ready so it’s next week now. The waiting is horrific. I also feel sso jealous of every one going on with their normal lives, not that I wish this is on any one of them, but do you know what I mean? I’m trying to hard and everyone says I’m being so brave but it’s doesn’t feel like it that inside.

im sorry about your BRACA results what a shock. This situation is all so horrid and emotional.

Thank you again for your message x