Just been diagnosed and terrified

How old are your girls? Mine are 4 & 8, also being so fantastic!

I was exactly the same and said to friends, why me? But then added but then I guess why not me? You wouldn’t want this to happen to anyone. My family keep saying the same, I’m so brave and I’m doing so well, but sometimes you just want to shout ‘I’ve got cancer in the middle of the supermarket!!!’ (I haven’t done this yet - but it could still happen.)

Have you joined any local support groups in your area? I’ve found these extremely useful to talk face to face with people who are experiencing the same, and have a cuppa. X 

I told my 3 sisters and my friends that I was taking one for the team! I felt the same the other day, I was walking about and everyone is just being normal and I’m like, HOW??!!! But, then I think there’s probably lots of people walking about with various cancers and about to start treatment and they’ll be thinking the exact same thing! I also find myself looking at everyone’s boobs ‍♀️I’m gonna get myself arrested!!xx

10 and 7. Ironically my expertise is the importance of talking to children about illness and death for their long term mental health but having this happen seems to be taking my work to the extreme! I think the waiting is the worst and hoping this time next week I will have a plan and feel I can have a bit of control over what is happening to me. Thank you for your kindness and advice x

when I was first diagnosed, everywhere I went, I was thinking, there are people here having cancer treatment ( doesn't always mean you lose your hair). 1 in 2 say the stats. 

When I had the biopsy, there wasn't a nurse in when I went back to see the surgeon. Apparently, there should have been, if they had any suspicions it's cancer but the radiologist told me , he wasn't sure. 

So, when I went back for my results, I still had a hope that it wasn't. I was the only one left in waiting room and they were running 30 mins late, I saw a nurse holding Macmillan leaflets , so i knew before I went in.  

It's really scary not knwoing but once you know, you will deal with it. None of us are brave, you will be amazed what you can do . Good luck x

Hi Ladies,

I also have BC the waiting for results is definitely the worse.

Once you have a plan it gives you something to work towards.

Your feelings are very normal. Yesterday was my 10 year old grandson birthday I wanted to join in but couldn't due to effects of the injections I need to inject. I felt so jealous of everyone else enjoying their time and just wanted to feel normal.

I hope all goes well for you both and kids are so resilient. My 5 year old granddaughter fixes my wig for me she is so sweet xx

Hi ER45,

I had a lumpectomy nearly four months ago and lymph nodes removed, I finished my radiotherapy last week. It is a shock when you are told and it is important you take a bit of time to let it register and sink in. However, treatment for cancer has made huge strides these days and there is so much help for you out there and a lot you can do for yourself.

You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills and lots more. They are open 10-4 Monday to Friday, just pop in anytime for coffee and chat. It may also be a good idea to take the children with you as they can also chat to and help them. Please also get a good support structure in place, family, friends, good work colleagues, I’ve lived on my own for nigh on forty years, but realised you can’t do this on your own. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and you get great support on here.

I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.

Take care and big hugs.xxx

Hi ER45 , I was diagnosed in June and recovering from a mastectomy currently & will be starting chemo soon. I have a young child and try and not have these thoughts but they creep in every now and again, especially when sad songs come on the radio. I think it’s a normal thought process to go through. Have they given you any idea of what they think your treatment plan will be? X

Hi the waiting is the worst time, i felt so stressed. My two are 21 and 25 and i didnt tell them about my diagnosis until i had a plan of treatment . I am now 5 months down the line and have had my surgery , started on Tamoxifen and had my radiotherapy. The breast care nurses are amazing . i asked for one to be there for all my appointments and following my appts i must have spent an hour a time with them afterwards going through things. Best thing is do not google and if you have questions just ring the breast care nurses . I had really dark thoughts initially , but with the help of family friends and taking up walking i got through that time and am now feeling very positive about life