Cancer Ghosting

Indeed. I don't think I did experience it, as there's a significant number of cancer patients in my social circles. Distinct difference though, with more immediate friends, who was happy for me to talk in detail (including prognosis) and those not. 

Tbh I've had the exact opposite myself. To the point it gets a little irksome with lots of colleagues/friends/family constantly asking how I'm doing etc. I mean it's nice but you have to keep on having the same conversations over and over again 

Sorry 

I think some people didn't want to talk about cancer with me. But far fewer than would have been like that in the last.

When my mother had it, 50 years ago, one of her sayings was, 'I want to know the details and don't want people looking sideways ar me'. That was mainly about doctors and nurses - in those days some people refused to tell the patient what they had. People might believe they were getting better even as they were dying. And I know there are parts of the world where that still happens.

I didn't notice anyone crossing the road to avoid me, although some acquaintances were slightly less visible. But after I got the all clear they all came and congratulated me and my family.

After all some are frightened of cancer and others may be frightened of saying the wrong thing. I'm sure I'm not the only one told 'but you can't have, you look so well' (several times).

I talk to everyone, though if they look worried or queasy I'll gloss things over a bit. The more we show cancer as just another illness, the fewer people will be scared stiff of it.

All the best,

Latestart

I have had a bit of that. I just smile and say I'm doing well and don't elaborate. I usually think they're unsure what to say and just want to show support. 

Latestart

One neighbour told me I looked ghastly but my other neighbour was always supportive.I only ever really discussed cancer on here.I wasn’t going to tell any friends but my sister thought they would want to know.I had some nice supportive cards and texts.It was a lonely experience as I didn’t have a supportive nurse or GP but I got through it.

That’s bang out of order Leo….the friends and family I still have ( fallen out with a load of ex mates ) are very supportive… Mrs Nigel is my rock though…we are here foe you mate.

Nigel 

Cheers Nigel, my wife has been brilliant, as have everyone on here. I did not know “it was a thing” but now know it to be true. Sighs.But also have some good  friends and relatives also, which is lovely.

Hi Leo 

interesting question I personally have been friends with a guy since I was 13 and we have always spent a lot of time in each other’s company our wives also that was until 2 years ago when I got my diagnosis i can count on one hand the amount of times we’ve spoke or been in each others company since we also live 5 doors apart on the same street now I’ve always been there for this guy ready to lend a hand in anything he’s asked of me as friends should does he feel I’m not useful anymore or he can’t ask well that unfortunately is his issue and I’ll leave him to it 

on the other hand friends that were not in my day to day seem to make more of an effort to check in with me even if it’s just a text message 

Ste 

Actually that's the worst bit for me, because people see there is next to nothing wrong with me physically it's like oh it's fine it will be fine your bothering over nothing. Then when I get my results and more tumours have been found it's like oh really. It's cancer no matter how severe the symptoms are or are not, yes it's much harder for some absolutely and they have a torrid time with it. But it's still a bad disease even when it's not that bad and has the potential to become worse. 

Yes I know exactly what you mean obviously in our own minds we will think right I’ll change this slow down abit get on best I can with things but as we all know the worry does not completely go away hard to plan anything if you have an appointment due because you never know what’s going to happen but people who havnt been through it don’t understand ooh you look fine oooh you’ve been treated it’s over now you’ll be fine I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve uttered the sentence your not medically trained you don’t know that 

Ste