I feel useless

Same here,I would start off ok but invariably ended up in tears through frustration and emotion.

Hi Trazel,

So sorry to hear of this dreadful situation you are in.  I think its disgusting the way some people are treated. Is not fair and not acceptable. I'd speak to the PALS office at your usual hospital and tell them whats going on and you are not going to accept this level of treatment and lack of communication. I myself have recently had to write letters and see GP to get answers. Its  really not good enough. PALS should be able to help i think. Id give them a go.

Good luck and best wishes for recovery to your partner.

Deb x

Thank you for your kind responses, it’s now been six days since Terry was rushed into hospital. and seem no further forward.

he was moved three times in the first hospital before being transferred to another hospital where he has been transferred again 3 times.

yesterday he was supposed to have tubes inserted to relieve the pressure from his kidneys, bypassing his bladder.

he went down to the theater, only to be sent back after checks which revealed that he had been given his blood thinner tablet that morning so they cancelled the procedure and re schedule for tomorrow Friday.

he called me from the hospital last night for help as no one one answering his call button and needed help. He was trembling and mumbling, he was frightened.

Again he was so distressed this lunchtime when I went to see him, like a little child crying and mumbling, he had spilled a glass of water over himself and the sheets his was laying on and was cold and thirsty..

I soon drew this to the attention of staff and they changed the bed and him and we made him comfortable.

I played some music to him that settled him.

a doctor came in and discussed the situation, during which he discussed palliative care and withdrawal of resuscitation. I/we feel kicked and knocked down and I feel more useless than ever.

I’m so sad,shocked and angry to hear of your partners lack of decent treatment.I hope that the procedure is able to be done today and provides some relief.Thinking of you both and wishing for an improvement in your situation.Love and best wishes Jane xx

I can only share Winkers comments. My hospital experiences have generally been positive. Jeez

Dear Trazel, please try and contact your local Carers' Association and/or MacMillan or similar support group. You need people on the ground who can hug you, and give you more support for yourself as you give your all to support your husband at this shocking time. Sending my warmest virtual hug, Denby

This so shocking. I am so sorry to hear this. I can only suggest you either speak to your CNS, PALS or your GP and even send a letter to the hospital chief administrator or make an official complaint. If you keep accepting this awful treatment, theyll keep giving it. Stand your ground and refuse to allow your hubby to be moved until surgery is done.  Keep your CNS and PALS  in the loop.Give them 7 days to get surgery done.. if no joy, tell CNS,PALS & Consultant that you are reporting to CQC( care quality committee). Your husband has a right to decent treatment. Its shamefull that we have to fight for it. 

Sending you all the luck, good wishes and hugs.

Deb x

When my husband was appallingly treated [not re bc] I called the Care Quality Commission and was listened to properly for over an hour. Soon after they inspected the facility and slated it....

Denby

Thank you everyone, your support is very much appreciated.

the surgery took place on Friday after a false start, when I phoned to ask what time he was scheduled to go to theatre, I was told his blood count was too low and surgery might not happen, I went across to the hospital a 40 minute drive and found they were giving him a blood transfusion.

At 1.10pm I was told he was going down to surgery and would have a local anesthetic, sigh  of relief as I was concerned that if it didn’t go ahead it would be left until after the bank holiday.

He went down to surgery and I returned home to wait a call from the lovely nurse that was looking after him.

the call came at 5.35pm confirmation that all was well and he was back on the ward.

i went see him yesterday and today and he is improving with his drainage of the kidneys and bladder.

next hurdle is the feedback on what is happening with the tumor, hopefully in the next couple of days.

Hi Trazel,I’m glad to hear Terry is improving.Sending a big virtual hug.Love Jane xx