I feel useless

Oh Trazel, how awful for you both. I do send a great big virtual hug. I fear you may be right about people being 'written off' who should not be. My friend's dad was recently in hospital with sepsis and pneumonia, and a 'DNR' over his bed head as he has COPD anyway. But that gentleman is back home now! 

My husband is well over 70 and was successfully treated for sepsis in a previously badly injured leg a couple of years ago without being asked about DNR. I agree they are being most unfair and unkind to you both.

I can only suggest you try to get someone else involved who is calm and assertive and will help you stand up to them. PALS too

More hugs, it's not you that is useless but them

Denby

I’m also sending a huge virtual hug to you Trazel.You are doing your very best and being failed by the nhs.I’m shocked but not suprised having had to beg for help for my mother in the past.It is distressing that resuscitation has to be mentioned.I hope now that your partner will get some decent pain relief and that they can get on top of his infection.You must look after yourself too,the stress takes a toll on the carer.Love to you both.Jane xx

I’m Hi Trazel, so sorry you have had such a poor experience with our NHS, your partner’s treatment sounds awful. Does he have a cancer nurse specialist (CNS) ? I was introduced to mine at my first biopsy results appointment, I can telephone her in working hours, and she has been a great support. It helps a lot to find someone you can trust, who can help you understand how treatment is being managed, and smooth your way through the system.  Otherwise I’d definitely talk to the PALs team at your partners hospital about your very reasonable concerns, so you can be reassured he is getting the best appropriate care. Hope you have friends or family around to support you at this very difficult time. Sending love Hx 

Travel, So Sorry to hear about your awful experiences with the NHS. Try contacting your local MP. They sometimes have the wherewithal to affect outcomes.  Garviv

Thank you x

Yes I do have a dedicated nurse but I can never get to speak to her, it’s alway an answer machine, and often no response or a response 3/4 days later after I’ve dealt with the issue.

on one occasion I was so desperate I phoned the emergency urologist dep who finally gave in an got me an appointment at the hospital, when I got there they said he was not listed, I told them to contact his dedicated nurse who was in clinic. They said I would have to wait until she was free.

Terry-was sitting in the car outside for 3/4 hr while I battled inside to try and find out where I had got to take him.

being constantly told he was not expected, finally a phone call came through to confirm he had got to go to a particular department who we’re waiting for him.

he was admitted and stayed in 5 days on that occasion 

So PALs might be your best route to get help. It is their brief to listen to patients who feel their treatment has been unacceptable, and endeavor to improve their experience. It must be desperate to feel your partner isn’t getting good care. Problem is changing hospitals can delay treatment , which at this point is the last thing your partner needs, So sorry you are going through such a tough time. x

It is a horrible situation to be in and stressful and exhausting.I had various battles to get mum help over the years.You have to stand your ground without being rude and that can be difficult.

Problem is he has to go between two hospitals although they are the same trust,Shrewsbury andTelford.

I agree and try to keep calm but land up breaking down and crying in despair, talking to brick walls at times seems to be the only way we can get through this.