I haven't checked in here for a few days. Been fatigued and the pain has just knocked me to my knees. The worry has knocked me to my knees too.
The spleen. The spleen. The troublesome spleen that put the kabosh on treatment protocol. I DID have the bone marrow biopsy yesterday which i have to say.. while not painful during since they did have me mildly sedated.. some verced and fentanyl... but hearing and feeling the percussion of them HAMMERING into my hip bone was ... nerve wracking to say the least.
The tests have been performed for that.. now is again the waiting til Tuesday afternoon for the results. Am praying to every god i have ever heard of that it doesn't show a whole new type of cancer. Of course I also understand that not getting an answer from that test means the mystery continues and off to Mayo Clinic i go for that diagnosis which hopefully does not include removal. I have been told that the spleen is too bloody and doesn't repair itself fast enough to take a biopsy. that it fills the belly with blood. so in the absence of an answer, that "could" be their solution which is a whole big thing. Trying to pretend it isn't happening until i know. Easier said than done.
But yesterday morning, i did the bone marrow biopsy and and finally got my first radiation treatment for the Anal Cancer. Of coursre no chemo for me til the spleen is settled. But since the tumor has been growing and growing and the pain along with it, i am grateful for the small step forward. There is just never a moment in time when i am out of pain now. Doing both on the same day seemed to really wipe me out. It could be psychological since both are pretty scary things to have to do, not only DOING them but what they represent or in case of the bone marrow biopsy what it "could" represent,
But again, i am grateful for the baby step forward to shrinking this tumor that gives me no respite from pain and challenges.
Next week is scheduled for a full week of radiation. So hopefully the spleen doesn't interfere with that again.
say a prayer for that little spleen organ that is running amock and let it return to a normal state!
Im sorry my posts are so self centric still at this stage. i DO read all the posts, but find it hard to offer advice since i am new diagnosed at late stage 3 with invasion of the vaginal wall and one lymph node.
i will continue to read posts and learn from those who have been down this road. The only thing that seems to help me is finding small ways that are within my power to help those around me, friends and family. Just small things take me out of myself a bit and helps my self esteem.
Still trudging, baby steppin'
Stormeey
