I’ve found the past week surprisingly difficult. After the initial euphoria of knowing I’d got the all clear wore off I’m left feeling a bit lost. I think maybe I’m just starting to process it all now. It’s not been a great year. Also my birthday is coming up again, and it was just after that last year that I had my first symptoms. I guess it’s just about getting past the milestones.
I’m not worried about the cancer coming back or even having any physical problems beyond the usual radiator gripping. I just feel like staying in bed for a week.
Anyone know what I’m on about?
Hi ,
From my personal experience what you’ve been feeling is perfectly normal. I felt very similar & found I had to keep myself more or less constantly occupied! I spent a lot of time out walking with my dog or out with friends even if it was just for a coffee & a natter.
I think this journey is such a whirlwind from the very beginning, things move really quickly & then through treatment you have the routine of daily hospital visits, following treatment you have your check-ups & the wait for your post treatment scans & once you’ve had the report from these & if you’re lucky enough to be deemed NED after the initial euphoria things feel as though they fall a little flat don’t they? As you’ve said I think this is when you really do begin processing everything that’s happened to you & it’s pretty damn scary!
So I suppose what I’m trying to say is yes I know exactly what you’re talking about. I remember visiting my local Cancer Connections just after I was diagnosed for some practical advice & I was told about their counselling service & one of the advisors said many people don’t access counselling during their cancer journey but often much further down the line past treatment & when they’re well into their recovery. has mentioned about having attended a survivorship course & I’m considering seeing if there’s anything similar in my area, maybe this would be something you could explore also? Above all be kind to yourself & allow yourself this period of adjustment, you’ll get there.
Nicola
I really wouldn’t worry that you don’t have any ‘active’ cancer, these places offer support for every step of your experience. I think sometimes you have lots of hospital based support when you’re going through diagnosis, treatment etc., but then it naturally falls away to an extent when you enter into remission & you settle into 3 or 6 monthly check-ups so lots of these services such as Macmillan, Maggies & Cancer Connections provide aftercare services too.
Nicola
