My sister is in end stages of incurable cancer, she is incredibly weak and sleeps most of the time. Chemo has been stopped and she's been told she has 2-3 months. So family and friends are all supporting her, District Nurses and GP come in regularly and she has syringe driver for pain and nausea and seems to be coping quite well.
But she's into homeopathic and alternative remedies and is in cahoots with some practitioners she met online. She is going to start taking off prescription medication, incl antibiotics. And Vit C. Which she wants to have injected intravenously. She discusses all this with her medical team who just listen and don't comment, but just focus on keeping her comfortable with conventional treatments.
I understand and respect that this may be the only way for her to cope and get through what she's facing, and tbh her cancer is so advanced, nothing 'alternative' she tries is going to make anything worse. Or for that matter better. But I find it really hard listening to hear talking about what she's going to be doing 'further down the line', choosing outfits she'll be waring, etc. And I would never burst her bubble or argue with her so I just go along with it.
But as soon as I'm away from her, reality kicks in and I just breakdown and sob uncontrollably. It's all so confusing and hard. It's like being in an alternate fantasy universe with her. Then crashing hard back down to earth. Does anyone else do this? And/or have any tips on how to cope? Thanks for reading and any suggestions.
Hi Prosperomuse,
My name is Matthew, and I work as part of the Online Community Team. We're the team who work on supporting our Online Community to make sure it stays safe and working well.
I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read about your sister's diagnosis, and how her outlook doesn't feel like it matches her medical prognosis. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to engage with, and I think it's completely understandable that her response would make you feel so torn.
Although I know there will be no easy answers for such a difficult situation, I think reaching out for emotional support is always a positive step. I'm sure some other Online Community members will be along to share their experiences with you in due course, but in the meantime I just wanted to make sure you know that you're not alone, and that you can always get in touch with our Information and Support Team for practical advice and a non-judgemental listening ear.
To speak to a member of the team, you can call the Macmillan Support Line on freephone 0808 808 00 00. The Support Line is open from 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week. Just select the option to speak to a member of the Information and Support Team, and you will be connected as soon as the next one is available. You can also get advice on how to approach 'alternative treatments' by speaking to one of our qualified Cancer Information Nurse Specialists via the options menu when calling the Support Line number mentioned above.
I hope that information is helpful, and that you reach out for support in whatever way you feel most comfortable. Macmillan and the Online Community will both be here for you.
All the best,
Matthew
Macmillan Online Community Team
Bless you
My brother has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. It's metastasized into his lungs , liver, lymph nodes.
I'm his main carer. He has a son but even though he's been told the recent news he seems to think his dad's going to live forever.
My brother seems quite ' blas'e' about this recent diagnosis. We are going to the oncologist tomorrow to see if there is any treatment they can provide to " manage' it but my brothers attitude is " I've been cured once I've just got to go through it again ". I want to ask what his prognosis is but my brother just wants to talk about motorbike shows him and his son will be attending in the summer.
I feel like screaming but have to keep it together for him and act like it's a bout of bad flu he's about to battle.
I have no other siblings my only family are my husband who is not very supportive and 2 grown up children who have their own lives to lead so I don't really speak about how I really feel to anyone.
ast week I felt like screaming
You must be feeling very low. I really do feel for you
Sandra
Thank you Paul
We saw my brother's oncologist yesterday
They told him 4-5 months without treatment
A year with treatment. He has chosen the treatment. I think it only really hit him yesterday and we were over an hour with the oncologist and then nearly an hour discussing pain management.
Feeling a bit numb today to say the least. I don't know if I'm strong enough to take this journey with him but he told me yesterday " I'm his Rock" 
. I know I will be there for him
But it's going to take its toll.
Thank you for your kind words
Sandra
Yes, I get what you say
Sometimes I go see my brother and he's grumpy, muttering how " bloody ridiculous" everything in life is and then next he's calling me his rock
I can't imagine how they must be feeling. Devastating it must be
Keep strong 
Sandra
