My husband has just started palliative care for inoperable, non curative cancer of the small bowel.
Over the years we have had many discussions about his level of alcohol intake - he has always drank more than the recommended 14 units/week, didn't have a couple of alcohol free days in a week - and now this has happened.
I have absolutely no doubt that his previous lifestyle has contributed - in 2015 he had a total gastrectomy for stage 3c stomach cancer - and still drank alcohol after that.
I feel so angry that this current situation is perhaps unnecessary.... now his alcohol intake is zero (his choice).
Years ago I decided we all make our own choices in life, but this is hard to take on board.
Of course i will care for him as long as is necessary.
Thank you for reading this...
Hi lynio I spotted your post in the New to the Community section but here is a better place to talk. Of course you are justified in feeling angry. Your life has been turned upside down and in a way part of you is preparing to die with your husband. My first husband was a Fleet Street journalist in the days when papers and staff were still there. He was clever, funny and exciting and I was swept off my feet. I thought I could if not change him at least temper his behaviour but it wasn't to be and he killed himself with booze and fags leaving me with a mountain of debt to bring up our daughter on my own. I resented his illness for a long time but cared for him while my daughter and I forged a parallel life. You just do it..... and the anger resentment and mental anguish fade
I wish you the very best in your journey, don't let it eat you up. Spend as much time with friends or on your own as you can. Get as much help as you can and you'll pull through to start again. Hugs
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
At those times when you’re feeling really rubbish and can’t sleep have a look at the awake all night thread. A chat and a laugh at three o’clock in the morning can lift spirits no end. Take care xxx
Dani
Base of tongue cancer. T2N0M0 6 weeks Radiotherapy finished January 2019
