Hi
Last year my Aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer for the 2nd time. The first time she recovered but this time it was terminal, she was in her late 70s, she is my Mums sister. She died this year. Around the same time I found out another Aunt also has cancer, she is in her 60s and has cancer in her hip, not sure what type of cancer. She has been having treatment for the last year but she is getting worse, my cousin said they are going to try another round of treatment but they don’t know how much longer she has got.
After I found out that both my Aunts, who are my Mums 2 sisters, had cancer my mum told me that she is certain she has got breast cancer as she found a lump in her breast a few years ago and it has been growing bigger and bigger over the last few years. She didn’t tell me before as she doesn’t want to see any doctors or get any treatment and she thought I would try to talk her into seeing a doctor. She is in her 80s and said she is just too tired and thinks if she went into hospital for any reason she wouldn’t come out. I think she is scared. She now says she thinks hers has spread because she now has lumps on her hips which are getting bigger and she also has a cough and struggles to breathe at times. She does have heart problems so the cough could be because of that, or it could be the cancer has spread, I’m not sure. She hasn’t seen a doctor for several years now and refuses to see one.
My mum told me that most of the females on her side of the family have either had or have died from breast cancer as far back as my great grandmother, who died from breast cancer, we don’t know about any further back than that. I am now worried that either myself or my children may also get cancer at some point. I can’t talk to a doctor about it as my mother doesn’t want any medical people to know about her cancer in case they try to force her into any treatment or anything. She lives with me and my family.
I do not know what to do to help my mum. She is pain a lot of the time and also seems to have problems breathing sometimes. I have told her that a doctor could help with pain relief but she refuses to either see or talk to one. She says it is her life and no one is going to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to. I love my mum and just want to do what is best for her to help her so that she isn’t in pain or struggling.
I think I just needed somewhere to talk where there are other people going through the same thing.
