I was 63 yesterday. I am single and live alone. I also have small cell lung cancer, diagnosed in December 2019. At the time of diagnosis I had mets to my liver and bones. I was treated with chemo and immunotherapy. Following a recent deterioration in my liver Function test, I was told yesterday that the lungtumour which had shrunk from 9cm to virtually nil in March was now back to 9cm, the bone mets had increased, my liver mets had gone berserk (hence the liver function test) and brain mets had appeared. The upshot is that I have progressed from incurable to ‘end of life’. they had no further treatment to offer me. I am numb. I feel abandoned I’ve checked my will and have created a power of attorney so my sisters can deal with things on my behalf. Having done all that I feel that I’ve been left to die. Paradoxically this is making me feel worse than the cancer ever did. I’ve been mainly a symptomatic, symptoms have begun to appear but they’re not unbearable, but all I want to do now is lie in bed and have a massive pity party.
