If Only

Dear Ellie

Ditto. 

X

Ditto Ditto

Not much more to add how do you respond to that I am not sure so I just say nothing.

Lyn, I used to say nothing but now I ask " how am I supposed to look?".

I wish I had a penny for every time someone tells me how "good" I'm looking! I don't say anything to that but think to myself, as opposed to what!

Is that not a nice thing to be said? I like it if someone tells me I look well....I think people try to be kind but are awkward to know what to say, so I always give them the benefit of the doubt and put it out of my mind xxx

I agree - but i would still like a pound each time!

I too would be rich. I think there are two versions of this though. There is the “my, don’t you look well” accompanied by a fixed grin and slightly too wide eyes that I think really means “you look well considering what you’re going through”. Then there’s the “you look so well” that’s accompanied by a real smile or maybe a bit of surprise that says I actually look well. Both come from a good place. 

I just say thank you with as much genuine feeling as I can muster. That’s variable. 

Glad you’re looking so well, though

xx

I suppose I should see the positive side of them saying I look too good for someone with terminal cancer. But it can start to make people doubt you.

To the world, we should be looking like the stereotype of cancer sufferer with baldness, no eyebrows, it’s and scarfs etc. And don’t forget the weight loss. 

Im glad Ellie has started this new discussion. She does start some really good discussions, Daloni s best at those wonderful photos of the nature reserve. Tvman is brilliant at highlighting every day problems that he manages to entertain us and support us. And let’s not forget, I think it’s Millie and her, fingers crossed pyjamas wedding! Let’s not forget Bagrat has helped me by going to the hospice to see about a grant. Since I’ve joined this community, I no longer feel alone. And right now Ellie has aired the constant problem of peoples attitudes as regards to how I look for someone with cancer. Thanks everybody.