I just want to be me

Hi Xxnataliexx, the post cancer journey is rather odd. At times, living the post cancer journey is like living in a parallel universe - you can see your old life but regardless what you do you can not get back on that same path.

Following 16 years of treatment and now 5+ years into my post treatment life, a situation I was unwillingly put into. It did actually make my wife and I review life and everything that we once thought important.

So some things from our old life are still in our lives but various aspects of our old life that were once seen as important were put in the bin and we don’t miss them.

The post treatment recovery journey will be full of milestones. You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper  After Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr Peter Harvey as he highlights the various milestones you are going to experience.

Hi thanks for the reply I will have a look at that artical. Hope your recovering well 

I've read that article recommended by thehighlander and it's brilliant, I promised myself to read it every Sunday night to gear me up for the week. I also found a local macmillan support group, and had some nice email chat, when covid is over I will go along to their group sessions. Just that in itself has given me a flicker of faith that my mental health hasn't been crushed by cancer fears. Xx xx I'm always here for some online company if things get too much. Xx 

Hi again , yes the paper switches on some lights as it simply highlights the milestones of the post treatment recovery.

Talking to people face to face can indeed help a lot but during these times it’s not that available but do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing and a lot of these services have moved onto online video support groups.

Also check this link to the Macmillan Buddies Telephone Service

Hi Mike, I've touched base with our local macmillan support group, and I will def be going to their sessions when covid allows  Thankyou for your help  

Hi,

I’m sure we must have  chatted at some point in the womb cancer group, as I too am about 7 weeks post-op. I feel pretty much the same really, can’t focus on much without thinking about the speed of my diagnosis, surgery & now. I’m wanting to feel positive that I HAD cancer, but then I feel sad for the life I had pre diagnosis. I never had a CNS so have had little support outside of my family or this online community.

The world around us seems to go on, but for us it stopped for a little while, but we’ve got to look forward and be grateful for what we have. It could have been so much worse for us. I completely understand where you’re coming from, but I’ve decided today to learn from the whole experience. Never give up, be thankful that I’m still here & move forward. Life will never be the same as it was before, but it’s time to take charge of my life and move on. Hopefully, knowing  that there are other people outside going through the same as us will be helpful for both of us.

if ever you need a chat with someone in the same place as you, I’m here.

Thanks for reply will have a read tonight hope your ok it’s really shocking all this just carnt take my mind from it and thankyou xx

Hi yes we have spoke before and seem to be going threw the same physically and mentally. Am sure we will get we we need to be mentally never the same as before but not as frightened. Thanks for your reply hope you recovering good and yes it could of being so much worse my friends and family just don’t understand they say u had cancer it’s gone why aren’t u happy and I just carnt awnser that yet maybe one day it’s all just to soon  take care xxx

Thanks, I’ve just read this paper & I’m so glad I did. It has helped me to understand why I’m feeling the way I do, and that it’s normal to have anxieties. ️

Hi again NewbieAndi, yes the paper is a great tool.

When I post the paper folks will often come back and say that they think that the paper had been written just about them.

I would always challenge folks to become proactive after reading through it and using it as a vehicle for change and life improvement.

So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.

So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards. 

When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.

The headings would be:

What steps am I taking to regain trusts in my body?

What steps am I taking to regain trust in myself?

What steps am I taking to overcome living with uncertainty?

What steps am I taking to deal with the world?

What steps am I taking to regain mastery and control of my life?

Try it, the future is sitting in front of you - think about driving a car. The big windscreen shows the future, the past is in the little mirrors and is getting smaller and more fuzzy as we move forward.....if you concentrate on the past you crash.