Tongue cancer

Hi Jaz and welcome to this little corner of the Community.

”But what if it comes back...?” Is a very valid question...... but can I counter that by saying “What if it does not come back...!!!”

Getting your head in a place where you don’t waste your precious life worrying about something that may never happen is very important.

I am in remission and my type of cancer could well come back especially if I catch this virus that is going around, but I have not fought my very long battle (see my profile) to be wasting the life I have gained by continually fighting an unnecessary war between my ears.

Make a cup of something and have a look through this great paper and come back with your initial thoughts on what it is saying.

((hugs))

Hi Mike

Thank you for your message......your right, I know your right.....but it's convincing my brain that..... I guess it's still very early days since diagnosis/treatment so is going to take a little time to get to grips with all of this....the whole experience frightened the hell out of me and my 2 young daughters also. Positive thinking huh!! 

Jaz x

Hi Jaz, I have been on this cancer road a rather long time so I do have the advantage of experience behind me.

A lot of post treatment journey’s are scattered with lost dreams, lost hopes and what if’s...... but once you get past that point you start to see the way forward for the future.

Back in November one of my replies in the Life after Cancer group was made into a little Community Blog - follow this LINK and have a look.....saves me typing it all out again ;) 

Come back and tell me what you think as well as your reaction to what the paper says to you.

((hugs))

Hi Mike and Jaz.  I was just wandering through the posts and came across this one and it struck such a chord.  I followed the link to the paper you cite, Mike, and I am grateful you posted it.  What a wise and accurate description of the journey I, and so many others, have been on.

Two years post surgery (bowel cancer with no symptoms until I was too anaemic to stand followed by emergency surgery) and into the second year of monitoring, I have felt all of the things the paper describes.  I agree with Mike, Jaz, it does change gradually and the future does open up again.  Even then doing the old things is not as straightforward as people generally think. 

I am a teacher and an artist and I still find that the motivation to do the things that I love is intermittent.  Some days I don't want to work or even dream.  It is as much as I want to do to watch my garden and see the sunlight playing in it.  Other days I feel the stir of ideas and find that I can sketch and weave and, maybe, there is something there about  my priorities changing that I need to consider slowly.  It may be time for what my Macmillan counsellor called a 'new normal'.

But I am better most days.  I am finding support from the people in the Macmillan cancer rehab programme at my local gym, new friends and gym buddies for someone who never went into one.  We talk and share and move on to things that are more interesting and both are OK.  So it does get better but it takes time.  It doesn't all come at once either.  So I am learning to take the days slowly and enjoy them.

Thanks for that link, Mike.  I have downloaded it and will go back to mull it over.  And good luck, Jaz.  The days lead us forward gently if we let them and remember to breathe.  Take care all of you.  Lyn

Hi LB61, so pleased that you found the paper a help.

This post treatment journey is a hard one and you would think that it should’ve the simplest- but for most it’s not.

After looking at the paper I I would always challenge folks to become proactive after reading through it and using it as a vehicle for change and life improvement.

So get a note book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.

So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards. 

When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.

The headings would be:

What steps am I taking to regain trusts in my body?

What steps am I taking to regain trust in myself?

What steps am I taking to overcome living with uncertainty?

What steps am I taking to deal with the world?

What steps am I taking to regain mastery and control of my life?

Take care and stay safe.

Thanks for the response, Mike.  I am a journal keeper and have been working through these issues gently.  Life after cancer really can be the biggest challenge on the path.  MacMillan have been a great help at every turn and the community of fellow patients/survivors is a revelation. We will all see better days and we deserve them.  I am on my way.  Stay safe too