"I have always thought that giving up is not an option, it's more of a stepping stone to what is next" - thoughts from our Community Champion, Mike

2 minute read time.

Last week on the Community, we spotted this response from , one of our dedicated Community Champions. We couldn’t help but share it, it epitomises the very essence of peer support and that’s what the Community is all about. Enjoy…

On the 10th May 1999 I was told that I had a rare type of Skin Lymphoma, so for over 20 years I have lived all the levels of acuity and stress so do understand the 'low' moments a cancer diagnosis brings... what did I do to overcome them?

20 years back I was told that my condition would 'get' me at some point in time, someday, some year but with no calendar... I very quickly come to realise that I could not let my condition define me.

A good consultant friend told me very early on in my diagnosis that "all the stress and worry in the world would not change what was going to happen" - indeed he said "worry and stress could actually make me more sick regardless of what my cancer was actually doing".

He then said "your main goal is to get a handle on the battle between the ears". He was spot on, keeping an eye on the positives helped to overnight the many negatives... when things went wrong...and there have been many... I was able to ask "what is next - as there is always a next".

Fast forward 17 years, I am in remission from a condition I was told I would never see remission from.

I have no idea if any of this helps, but I always have thought that “giving up is not an option”, it’s more a stepping stone to what is next.

I see a cancer journey to be like a climb up a craggy Scottish Mountain. 

These Mountains have well-trodden paths with little cairns (stones on stones) put up by the many folks who have walked these paths before us.

At each cairn the path divides in two - these are the points of decision - like… How we deal with side effects? The mental and physical challenges! The picking ourselves up 'again' times! It’s scan time again! How can we move on?

We do have to look very carefully at where each track will take us. Do we knuckle down and tough it out and keep climbing up or do we take the low path and keep going round the hill and not reaching the summit... not seeing that view for the first time.

When you look at the cairns they are always just on the tracks that will lead to the top. So each stone that is put on the cairns is a "yes we can do this" decision... keep putting the stones on the 'yes' cairns... and every now and then have a look back down the hill and see the starting point and all the little cairns on the paths you have taken.

Want to share your story? Get in touch with the Community team on community@macmillan.org.uk or leave a comment below.

Anonymous
  • Hi The Highlander you have a wonderful way of illustrating what the cancer journey is.  When I recurred it was a shock as I was early stage and have the lowest grade cancer and type and was told I was cancer free and a low risk of it returning.  My response to this recurrence was off the wall I wanted a 2nd opinion when I found out that I had cancer in my blood cells known at the beginning and was not told.  It was just a black hole compounded by my fear of death which I am going to deal with at some point.  I was speaking with my hubby and his mum and I subconsciously said I should start living, the doctors fight so hard to treat us, the least we can do is live. I think from this moment that is what I am trying to do. When I had my pre radiotherapy appointment with the oncologist I said that there is no cure for cancer and he said if you go 5 hrs bed isn't that a cure or if we can manage it for 10 years isn't that a cure and from then I seem to turn a corner.  Thank you for sharing. Dawn xx

  • Thank you Mike, it's so true what you said. One of my consultants said a very similar thing to what your consultant friend said. Perhaps he'd read your blog! Brilliant. Keep up the good work, you helped me when I needed it most. Cheers.