Andrew, who began this thread, sadly died in September 2008, but his friends wished that his thread remain open in his memory, particularly to promote Andrew's idea of 'dancing away cancer' each Friday at 3pm. Please feel free to post your dance tunes every Friday in his memory.
Macmillan admin
Hello everyone,
this is my topic to start and its a question that has been burning around the back of my mind for the last few days.
I always thought that having a small group of very close friends was enough for anyone, ok you always have work colleagues and other acquaintances but the main group of my friends has remained within a steady little group of five people for nigh on the last twenty years. We have shared almost, if not all, of what life can show you over that period and nothing has every served to tear us very far apart for long.
There have always times when partners/other friends/own family have been more important to us and always been times when we are more important to each other and perhaps have taken some of this for granted and assumed that it will always be thus. I have reached the opinion that I have for certain.
Then you get cancer! Things change I suppose but I have cancer and all of a sudden things are important to me that weren't before and they have an impact on others which were not anticipated.
First I need to say that my friends have been great through this initial part of my illness and there is nothing to say that this position is going to change immediately - rather its me that seems to be changing and not them. I am having doubts about my ability to cope with what is happening to me and what may happen in the immediate future, I am doubting my friends willingness to hear what I have to say when they ask that questions each day "How are you?", I don't want to say "OK thanks" each time when I am not OK,
I want to say "it bloody hurts" and "I don't feel well at all" and "I think its really unfair that I have this disease and you don't" (that one really stings in your head and even if its not at all true, sometimes you can't help yourself thinking it even fleetingly).
Then after that I get guilty about having the disease and having those bad thoughts that seem to go along with it all. I keep thinking that I am asking too much of them now in terms of emotional and physical help and what if their well runs dry later when I need them even more than I do now and they have nothing left to give me. Then I think that that is a really selfish "me, me me" attitude to have and that gets me really down - can you be guilty about a guilty thought which in itself is only a selfish thought about feeling guilty - just how big a knot is that one to unravel.
Anyway before I drive all away completely with this "hymn to the depressed" that brings around the original thought I had;
- can you use up and wear out your friends and family with this thing before you need them most?
Thanks for reading (if you managed to get through the dirge without laughing too much) and any thoughts are appreciated.
Cheers
Andrew
Good evening everyone.
I hope you are all feeling as good as possible. I'm glad to read your cruise around Iceland and Norway went wonderfully Helen. I would love to visit that part of the world.......seeing the midnight sun or the aurora must be truely magnificent. I did go to Lapland with the Children when they were young, but that was only a day trip to visit Father Christmas and do the crossing of the Arctic Circle ceremony.
I got home yesterday morning but still not quite with it due to jet lag. Did have a brill time. We did 32 towers of the Great Wall, about 15k. It took us 5 hours and was excruciatingly difficult but well worth the pain. My poor legs ached for days after so I had to have a foot massage.......which was great but also very painful because my muscles hurt so much.
My tea is ready so will speak a bit later.
Eurovision song contest tonight........yippieeeee!
Lots of love, Christine xxxx
Morning to you all
Well its nice to see you back Christine and i think your very brave for walking so far along that wall
plus it must have been amazing to see the view,s from each stop well i,m so pleased your back i will send you a p/m later and give you all the gossip . Helen i do hope you have had a nice time to its been very quiet on here for some time Mary has been keeping me going well i must go as my carer has just turned up so till later
much love liz xxxxx
Hi all
I cannot imagine how it feels to live with cancer - that is, have cancer yourself. However, I have close friends and family who have had this and are going through it now. All I can say is what I do and that is I always remember to ask them how they are everytime I see them - I don't make it the first thing I ask as I try to be more interested in other parts of their lives - but I always make sure that I do ask every time - and this is the main thing - I listen (and am happy to listen). No there isn't anything I can do to change this happening, I cannot take away their pain, but I can listen and be there to give them hugs when it's needed and I always make sure they know, that whatever time, day or night, if they need me they just need to call. I think that's all that I can do.
Hi, folks.....Christine, good for you doing all that walking! Liz, I lurve that pic of you from way back......
I have been a bit quiet as somehow I came home with the very beginnings of a feverish cold, the sneezing fits were horrendous and gave me sore chest muscles when I then coughed! But today I'm feeling better at last! Have been using the hand gel lots as Caz was due to come, and also hubs gets quite ill if he gets a cough now too. Hopefully (fingers crossed) I haven't donated anyone my Icelandic cold!
love and hugs to you all
Moomy
Good morning to Everyone
It’s great to see you all back from your fab holidays, Iceland sounds wonderful Helen, and Christine well done for walking so far along the Great Wall, what an experience that must have been. And Liz, what a great photo.
My song for Dance the Crap out of Cancer is River Deep Mountain High by Tina Turner as I find this so uplifting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8wG2cf3afM
I hope you all have a lovely, sunny weekend.
Crystal xx
Since the weather is so great, today, my song is 'The Sun Has Got His Hat On', for a bit of a laugh for you all, my dance will probably be risible too, lol!
Moomy
Good morning everyone. What a beautiful day, again. My tune for today's 'Dance the C**p out of Cancer' is going to be the Kinks and 'Sunny Afternoon' by the Kinks.
I will be gardening all day today as I still have quite a few tubs to fill. Going to do a walk up a welsh mountain tomorrow, injuries permitting, because I pull a muscle in my calf yesterday and its still very uncomfortable. Might try and find a little B&B to stay overnight then come home on sunday.
Sending everyone my love,
Christine xxx
Good morning to you all
well i thought i would just just pop in quickly and say hi to you all seeing its been a while since i was last on here . Well things with the shoulder seem to be getting better every week . I went to see the respiratory Dr on Monday about my breathing and to find the reasons why i keep on getting these clots on my lungs .They have decided that i will have to have a valve put into my chest to stop these clots appearing all the time plus they are raising my INR levels to 3-4 instead of 2-3 which means more warfarin . Well that's life , plus i have got an ultra-sound booked for next Tuesday as they think that they found a little lump on the last one but they could not be sure as at the last one i had cellulitis and everything was inflammed. well sorry to cut you short .
much love liz
Aww, Liz, you are going through it, bless you.......hope they get things right for you, glad to hear the shoulder is doing ok though......
love and hugs to you all
Moomy
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007