My dad has terminal cancer.

I'm so sorry to read this as I lost my dad in December from terminal lung cancer but he was given 6 weeks and passed 10 days before Christmas and 5 days after I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Dad also wanted to stay at home and didn't want care or a hospital bed but ended up with both in his final couple of weeks as I just couldn't cope with all his needs. You need to talk to him and just do what you feel is best for him,  it is a huge thing to do for anyone alone as I went weeks without proper sleep or food and it took it's toll on my health. Here if you want to talk or if I can help advise in anyway as it is very isolating. Sending love

Hi SCONEHEAD 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive

Sorry to hear about your dad, the refusing carers bit actually is fairly common and sometimes getting a needs assessment and carers assessment can be helpful - especially focusing on the carers being support for your brother can make it seem a sensible support option. 

As for you, just posting on here shows you care and that will really help both your dad and your brother.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve thank you for your lovely message. Getting anything done for my dad is a real struggle at the minute because everytime we mention anything to him he's fighting against us. He's telling us we better not do anything behind is back. He really needs the help now but is expecting my brother to do it all and it's taking it's toll on my brother who is also of ill health.

Kind regards 

Sconehead.

Hi Rosie18 thank you very much for your lovely message. I am so sorry to hear you lost your dad.  My dad got diagnosed 4 years ago it's only in the last 12 months he's steadily getting worse. He's had all his treatment now unfortunately so we are constantly on edge waiting for the inevitable to happen. It's so hard with dad because he's still of sound mind so everytime we mention anything to him about getting help he's fighting against me and my brother and tells us we better not do anything behind his back. Unfortunately I also lost my mum 21 years ago with a Brain Tumour.

Would love to chat as it's so nice to speak to people that are going through similar experiences. 

Hugs

Sconehead.x 

Sorry to hear about your mum too, my parents divorced when I was little and things are strained there as she hasn't contacted me to say sorry about your dad or offered a hug. She likes to be centre of attention but obviously wasn't my priority during dads last weeks.

Cancer is such a horrible thing to go through, it is so cruel and you need all the support you can get. How would your dad be if you discussed extra support with your brother for your dad to help lighten his load? 

Think you need some professional advice on ways to move forward and help both your dad and brother.

Rosie x