Hi everyone, I just joined this group on the recommendation of one of Macmillan staff.
Six days ago I learned that my Mum has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which has spread to her liver.
I really feel like I need support, and am trying not to feel selfish in that.
I am utterly terrified most of the time, with all the physical effects that brings: sleeplessness, racing heart, loss of appetite, intensive waves of anxiety and panic.
Yesterday mum had a stent fitted to remove blockage around her pancreas, which she says has made her feel more comfortable. Also yesterday, I told my kids, and just about managed to hold it together. Both of these things helped me to feel slightly better. (I’m looking for any positives!)
Mum has always been fit and well and this has come as a total shock. I lost my job in January, and am in the process of moving house. I have a history of depression and anxiety and have already been on medication for years.
Anyway, wanted to introduce myself and explain my situation. Hi. 
Hi Nath
Welcome to our community, I hope you find in both informative and supportive.
Sorry to hear about your mum though good she was able to share with you as that is a major positive for you both.
Many people here talk about feeling selfish but what I know I found is the importance of being a little bit selfish if we are to have the strength when we are really needed.
Well done on telling the kids, I know we wanted our son to be informed about his mums diagnosis and while it was difficult for him children can often imagine things much worse that reality - as of course can we! I did a living with less stress course that really helped me.
<<hugs>>
Steve
