Parent of adult daughter with stage 2 breast cancer - Any tips?

Hi Ladyfingers 

Something I found quite helpful was looking at my feelings when someone has cancer as being able to recognize these emotions and accept them as part of the new normal can help to make them less overwhelming.

I do wish it was as easy to do strong and it is to type. I thought I was managing for sometime with my wife's cancer - unitl I wasnt and I walked in to our local Maggies and brain dumped through the tears. 

Janice's cancer is not currently curable but is stable and has been that way now for many years. As she says living with cancer but then it is not bothering her and she is not bothering it.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve,  thank you for your kind reply,  finding it particularly difficult today.

Keep thinking the worst,  staying with my daughter and grandchildren,  at the moment want to be there for her she is just getting on with it but I am in a heap 

Ladyfingers 

Hi ladyfingers, I know exactly how you are feeling.  My daughter was diagnosed three years ago in May. I was beyond devastated. Didn’t want to talk to anyone, couldn't think about anything else. I just wanted to shut the two of us away and 'make it go away'.

But life's not like that, is it? I went to every appointment with her and cared for her during the worst days of chemo and after surgeries. Gradually, this becomes your world ...a new normal. I learned to take one day at a time. On days when daughter felt ok, we always did something nice, even if it was just a walk in the park or tea and cake in a tea shop. Also planned some bigger treats for the 'good' week before each chemo treatment. 

Most conversations were led by daughter. We cried together, but less as time went on, and we laughed together too. Occasionally she wanted to talk about very serious matters... 'What if...?' I found this incredibly hard, but she had to be allowed to talk.

22 chemo cycles. 15 rounds of radiotherapy and 3 surgeries were finished in January last year. She still has chemo.side effects but is getting stronger. Back at work full time and her hair is a chin length bob. We made it through, and you will too. Just take it one day at at a time. Take your cues from your daughter. You really will cope.

Sending love, strength and a big hug. xxx

Hi Cherry2,  thank you so much for your kind reply.   My daughter is at the start of her journey,  I am feeling a bit calmer at the moment.  Pleased to hear that you both have come out the other end, it's the unknown that is one of the hardest bits.  I do not live near my daughter, so it will be a bit more difficult to know how she is feeling and I know that she doesn't tell me.  I think she just wants to get on with it always been like that.   I have a Maggie s near where I live so I will make sure I get some support.

Sending love and hugs back

xxx

There isn't a Maggie's near us otherwise I would have gone there. Have heard nothing but good things about the support they offer.

Thinking of you both as you start treatment. Always remember that the medical team will want the very best outcome for your daughter and will do everything possible. xxx