terminal cancer

Hi lapis_lady 

Sorry to hear about your mum and the prognosis she has been given. When my wife was diagnosed she was clear she never wanted a prognosis and I struggled with that but in her case she was so right in that nobody would have guessed how well she would do.

I have seen many cases on here of people who have gone past their prognosis so it can be worth remembering they are at best an educated guess based on averages and take them with something of a pinch of salt.

It is very easy to slip into something like anticiptory grief at a time like this and that can stop us making the most of whatever time we have left. I was lucky enough to do a living with less stress course that really helped me.

<<hugs>>

Steve

I'm sorry to hear about this. It must be so hard for you. This was not how it was supposed to go. I don't have any advice, I just want you to know you're being heard.

Hi, just thought I’d give you a reply as I’m in the same situation but I know nothing anyone can say will help. I’m 24 my mum has cervical cancer that has spread to her lung and bone and has also been told she will have about 2 years. I completely resonate with you when you say you’re sick of people saying “plenty of time” and “make the most of it”. I don’t know if you feel the same but it’s been so long and I still don’t think I’ve fully accepted the fact I may lose my mum, it’s such a difficult thing to accept especially when my mum is my best friend. It’s completely normal to grieve that your mum will miss important parts of your life and that one day she won’t be there to hold. All I can really say is just get through each day however you can, it’s so difficult I know but if you ever need a chat I’m here. Don’t feel you have to keep strong for her, both of you can grieve together x

Hi, firstly I want to say that I’m so sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis and her prognosis. I totally relate to the gut wrenching pain as my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer in August with an extremely poor prognosis. I was 20. I have never felt anger like it , I was just so ANGRY! Angry that my mum was dying , angry that other peoples mums weren’t dying and angry that in a blink of an eye I had lost a future with my mum that I had looked forward to. Although these people may think they’re being helpful it is the last thing you want to hear, and you are well within your right to want them to shut up. I’m the opposite where little people in my life have acknowledged that my mum is dying. What I’ve realised in these past months is that people who don’t understand think that terminal prognosis means crazy trips and bucket lists, but in reality, the best memories are made in the mundane everyday. I think some of my favourite memories with my mum are simple things. Anticipatory grief is the worst. Block everyone and what they say out , grieve in whatever way you need to and take it day by day. You don’t ever have to accept what’s happening or come to a point where you’re at peace with it; don’t ever let anybody make you feel like that. Hang in there. 
Sending warmth and strength to you and your mum xx