Hello I cannot make sense of this sentence ' my sister has cancer', not yet . Two weeks ago my younger sister didn't know she had this but now she does, we all do. It is stage 4 ovarian cancer. I am supposed to be the strongest older sibling, always caring for everyone else but I am really struggling to know what to say, what to think even. She is my best and closest friend. Our Dad, who we cared for until he went into a care home, is still here 81 with mixed dementia. I cannot tell him, for one he would not comprehend and two it would be so unbearably cruel for him as he would not remember. We, I would be adding to his pain and suffering even though the natural thing is to tell your mum and/or Dad. Anticipatory grief - I don't know how much strength I have but I guess I am about to find out. Those years of caring were very hard, harder on my sister than me as I later discovered and it seems so cruel that she now has cancer. I just wanted to put it into words, in a place where people can understand as it is hard to express to those closest to you without upsetting them too.
Hi Angel56
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Those first few days and weeks after a diagnosis I think everyone finds really difficult and many go through a whole range of emotions as we can see in Your feelings when someone has cancer. Something I found quite helpful though it being able to understand that and accept those emotions as normal did help to make them less overwhelming. With your additional load with your dad that can make things even more complex.
There was a good article on anticipatory grief a little while back, many are surprised at what strength we find. Sometimes I am asked how I cope and perhaps the most honest answer is was I given a choice.
<<hugs>>
Steve
