cancer shock

Sorry to hear what your going through.But I just wanted to I'm experiencing exactly same with my husband. He's  currently in hospital fighting infection.  He has relapsed after BMT   for T cell Lymphoma.  I know he is frightened , angry and depressed that he may not survive this . He has moments of saying sorry or being short tempered and then  shouting quite hurtful comments.  I try not to let him see how this effects me. But i do tend to  have very emotional outbursts when I'm alone in car or at home. . Hope everyone has a good today

its the unseen mental stress that is never mentioned ..im sorry that you are going through this just like i am 

hope you have a better day today and best wishes for your husband too

well we were back at the hospital to see the oncologist this morning ....saw a different doctor who thinks my husband has an infection ..so hes been admitted to the amu unit for more tests and steroid treatment..the doctor wants my husband to get better before any tyoe of treatment is considered and of course my husband immediately thought the worst and made the knife across the throat gesture ....i told him off for that and said he was being silly ..the doctor thinks that steroids will help my husbands breathing and help him get his appetite back so he can eat better 

i also mentioned to the macmillan nurse that my husband has been very challenging with his behaviour and that although i knew it was the cancer talking it was still hard to deal with ..also told her he wont go to counselling as he doesnt want to talk about it ..she was lovely and said that hes hurting me because he loves me and knows i wont give up on him...also has copd as well now which we didnt know about ...life is full of surprises but hopefully we will have a better idea of what will happen in the future ..all i want is for my husband to get well enough for some kind of treatment and get some of his energy back and hopefully help with his mental health 

I’m Steph and I’m part of the Online Community Team here at Macmillan. I hope you don't mind me popping in here to offer some additional support.

I was so sorry to read about everything you’re both going through with your husbands. I hope you will find it helpful to be able to share in the Community and get support from people who understand. 

We know that cancer can affect emotions and relationships in many different ways. However angry, frustrated or scared someone is feeling, it is not acceptable for anyone to verbally abuse you, make hurtful comments or have unreasonable expectations. Whilst you're doing your best to support and stand by your husbands, it is important that you have the right support in place for yourselves too.

It's positive that you've had the chance to speak to your Macmillan nurse. We'd encourage you to keep talking to a nurse, GP or other professional.

Macmillan has lots of information here to help support you when your loved one has cancer. Although we don't advise on your specific circumstances, your wellbeing as a carer is really important. Our section on domestic abuse and cancer explains where you can find support if you need it.

If you’d like to talk anything through or need further support I’d really encourage you to get in touch with our Support Line.  Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

Please do let us know if you have any questions or need further support with anything at all. I hope the Community helps to show you that you don’t have to go through this alone.

thank you,,i do appreciate the support ive had so far ..i think dealing with everything has been hard on everyone but we are talking it out and he admitted that he was taking out his frustrations on me so we are slowly trying to balance out each ones needs 

its been a very interesting weekend so far ,,4 years ago my husband had a quarter of his left lung removed because of cancer ..we thought it had gone but subsequently found out that it had returned and now he had a tumour in his chest which was causing the rest if his lung to collapse making him very ill ...he was given 5 doses of radiotherapy to try and shrink the tumour or at least contain it .he was told the left lung would never reinflate again so it just added to the chaos and pain ......however we found out that not only had the radiotherapy had shrunk his tumour it had also enabled his airway to work and reinflate his damaged left lung ..now he has i full working lung and one lung at 75 % capacity ..the cancer doctor who told him said that he had to kook at his x rays a few times and double check he had got the right person ...we were told this yesterday and i cried alongside my husband as it seemed like a miracle to us ..we know the future is uncertain but ill take the miracle with so many thanks for the cancer doctors and nurses ,,my husband knows hes been taking out his pain on me and says hes so sorry for what he has said and done and again ill take that apology because i know its the cancer talking as my daughter says ,,,,my husband has been on steroids and antibiotics for a touch of bronchitis as the doctor said and hopefully he can come home tomorrow ..

life has a strange way of surprising you and i know that this miracle is just a small part of the journey we face ..i still get anxious and stressed but i can cope now..i have family who care and support me and writing on here is a major part of being able to express my feelings which has helped a huge amount ..

plus ive recorded loads of bruce lee films to watch lol