Father of the bride

My daughter was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer with bone mets in pelvis femur and skull and suspected malignant pleural effusion. An oncology CNS her first reaction was to marry her long term partner.  We have arranged (well her mum has) her wedding in quick time. Everyone has been kind and understanding.  Her wedding is relatively low key but we do want to create special memories. We are praying for good weather and are having an 'afternoon tea'.  If you see my profile you will see as a family we are now stranger to cancer. Today my wife has been told there may be a recurrence of her lung cancer.  We've yet to tell daughter but I have volunteered.

 I'be looked at all the 'father of the bride' duties on Google but how are they interpreted in these circumstances. 

  • So sorry to read your post. I am sure the wedding will be incredibly emotional for you all. Best wishes

  • So sorry to hear about your daughter. I have been in a sort of 'reverse' of this situation where we tried to expedite my wedding so that my dad, who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, could be there. Sadly he declined rapidly and we didn't go ahead but maybe I can share some insight into my thoughts.

    I think the main thing I'd say is that you shouldn't feel you have to be the stoic or brave one. This is going to be one of the most emotional days of your life. If you're planning a speech, perhaps you could give a trusted friend/relative a copy of it in case you are too emotional to read it.

    Has your daughter shared her thoughts on how she'd like the day to go and perhaps what she sees your role as being? I'm wishing you all the very best at what must be an incredibly difficult time.

  • Thank you for your insight, and sorry to read about your father. Sadly the loss of a parent to this awful disease before a wedding seems to be the more 'usual' way it happens and must cast a shadow over the day. I will probably say a few words but the usual speeches will I hope be toned down.  It's even more difficult for her mum. who will get the results of her PET scan the day before the wedding.  

    One thing I am determined about is whatever happens on the day the "c" word is banned.  Thanks again