Father of the bride

This thread and Gunnar's story is incredibly moving. I cannot believe what I was reading and it moved me greatly both as somebody supporting somebody with cancer but also as a father myself. Wow.

The most overwhelming thing I picked up on throughout this story is the love of a father for his daughter, and how proud you are of her. An incredible story told with love and admiration.

Thank you once again for thinking of us. Sorry for the delay in replying had a few IT problems now resolved had to erase hard drive but fortunately have backups. We're doing OK but think of Emma every day.  We have her ashes, which is so sad, she wanted them scattered on the Downs (which apparently is illegal) but we are not ready to let them go. Her sister is taking her time sorting out Emma's clothes.  We had sixty six pairs of unworn shoes, it hurts to think of what drove her to hoard them.  Apparently her partner/husband teased her and called her 'Imelda', anyway they have now gone to the local hospice shop.  We light a candle every day and are always pleased to see the robin at the bird feeder, our 'messenger from heaven'. My wife has another PET scan at the end of this month so we are in a kind of limbo as far as her treatment goes but it's likely she will have surgery on her breast cancer after that.  Emma was so brave, facing death and though we shall never be the same I hope we can show similar courage in facing up to the future without her. Thanks again for asking 

kind regards

Thank you for updating me, they are beautiful ways of honouring Emma.

I still haven’t been able to bring myself to scatter my dad’s ashes nearly a year on, so I can really relate to what you’re describing.

I’m sending my good wishes to you all and especially for your wife’s upcoming treatment. 

Hi,

It's a year today since my daughter's wedding day.  Her last words to her mum before she slipped into her final coma, were "Remember me on my wedding day, not like this".  So today we are going for afternoon tea with her husband and sister, at the Hotel where she was married.  She never wanted to be forgotten, and she never will be.  We think of her more now than perhaps we did when she was alive and getting on with her own life, following her career and being there for her if she needed us, but not like this.  It's been a tough year, my wife has had operations for lung cancer and recently her breast cancer both of which had positive outcomes.  We were at the Marsden again yesterday to discuss what we hope will be the final treatment for now of five days radiotherapy in a few weeks time.

As for today, bitter-sweet memories it was the last time we saw her truly happy and of course we want to remember her that way but we know it will be tough, but as someone said to me, "It's ok to cry". 

Thanks for all your thoughts.

Hi Gunnar, it’s nice to hear from you, thank you for staying in touch.

That sounds like such a lovely way to honour and remember your daughter on the year anniversary of her wedding, which I know was such a special day for you all. I’m sure your daughter would be so happy to see you mark the day in such a meaningful way.

I’m sorry it’s been such a tough year, especially with your wife’s treatment, but I’m really glad to hear her operations had positive outcomes. 

As for me, I’m expecting a baby and due in December. It’ll be bittersweet knowing my dad will never have had the opportunity to be a grandad but I’m trying to focus on the future. I’ll be making a trip to Northern Ireland in a few days to scatter some of his ashes - he gave me very specific instructions for where to scatter them, I’d avoided doing it for a year because I knew I’d find it difficult but now feels like the right time. 

Thank you very much again for staying in touch.