Sons diagnosis Hodgkins lymphoma

Its pretty hard to get your head around. Even though he's 26 years old he's still my baby. We have such a strong bond. I hate seeing him struggling like this. He had a biopsy that's confirmed cancer but they need to do a multiple core biopsy to see what stage he's at and what treatment is best. He's already been told an operation is out of the question as the mass is to big and he could lose his leg. Has any one got any good coping mechanisms.

  • Hi

    Sorry to hear about your son and while I struggle to relate since in my case it is my wife with cancer I can only imagine how it might feel if I were in your place.

    There is a blog here that might help.

    For me what really helped was doing a living with less stress course. It helped me to concentrate more on the here and now since I was really good at imagining something much worse than really happened. The conscious breathing exercises were great for coping with the unexpected too.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • I'm sorry to hear of your sons diagnosis. I can only imagine what you are going through right now,  in my experiance with my mum I think sharing worries and feelings with family members and friends, not trying to take it all on alone helps, and the support frim community groups are very helpful.

    Thinking of you and your family xx

  • Thank you Luciee for your message xx

  • Hi Kazz

    I am in a similar situation to you and I am so sorry for your son and you as well.

    I think as mothers we want to be able to take our child's pain away from them, from the moment they are born we want to tell them everything will be okay and with cancer we can't do that. It is out of our control and we have absolutely no control over the situation and as a mum it is very hard to deal with.

    My daughter is in her early twenties and is being treated on a teenage cancer trust unit, she was only diagnosed on May 13th 2022 with ALL ( acute lymphoblastic leukaemia ) She has already began chemo and will be in hospital for the next six weeks undergoing an induction block of chemo to try to kill the leukaemia cells.

    I am here if you ever want to talk or vent mum to mum about how you are feeling or to talk about your son.

    Love and positive vibes being sent to you and to you son. I wish him all the very best with his treatment and hope his results are as good as they can be. I think the waiting for each test result brings it's own pain and worry and it is like being on a very horrible emotional rollercoaster which you cannot get off of. We just have to take it one day at a time and be there to love and support our children as best we can.

  • Hi Loolou,

    Thank you for your lovely message. 

    It helps to hear from other mums going through the same thing. 

    It's hard isn't it.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, but she's in the best place.

    I'm also sending you lots of love and positive vibes.

    My son sees the consultant tomorrow so hoping we will have some news on when he starts chemo. It really has dragged on for us.

    Best wishes

    Kareni

  • Well we can be each others support on here and keep one another up to date with how our children are doing.

    I had such mixed feelings about the chemo starting and you likely will as well. On one hand you have your child who feels pretty unwell but you know that once chemo starts they are going to feel absolutely awful and I have just told myself that from the second the chemo went in, the fightback has begun. It is awful sat there wondering what the cancer is getting upto whilst being left unchecked so at least with the chemo beginning we know that the troops are being sent in to fight the cancer which is a relief.

    My daughter had her first chemo dose via an IV line but today went down to have a PICC line put in where the rest of her chemo will go through, apart from the chemo she is having directly into her spinal fluid. She had a lumbar puncture today and they will do them twice a week and put the chemo in at the same time. It is to check to see if she has any leukaemia cells there as there is a risk with ALL that it can go into the brain so the lumbar puncture test results are the ones we are now waiting for.

    I am feeling sick with worry but again comforted that at least chemo is being put directly into the spine to kill the cells and reduce the risk of it going to her brain from 40% to 5%. Cancer seems to be a game of odds and statistics and when it is your child the only statistic you ever want to hear is that they are 100% okay so anything other than that you have a tendency to focus on and worry about.

    I am still waking up every morning and feeling like I am being punched in the gut as it hits you again that your child has cancer and it is going to take time for us both to get used to being a mother of a child with cancer, I didn't want to say it out loud as somehow it would make it real so I forcing myself to say it as the more I do the more it will normalise it in my head and it will take us both time to get accustomed to this being our new normal but we will get there and get through this.

    I have three other daughters one older and two younger than my daughter with leukaemia and it is hard dealing with their emotions as well as my own and my husbands but just taking it one step at a time is all we can do.

    For the very first time in my life I am having to learn patience and it is not easy when it is your precious child and you go into tiger mum mode and want to protect them at all costs.

    I will keep everything crossed for you that the appointment goes well tomorrow and that you get a start date for chemo. One thing I keep being told is my daughter has age on her side and the same is true of your son so we have to have faith that they will be okay.

    I wish I could give you a hug but a virtual one will have to do and love to you and your son and extended family.

    Message me anytime and I will respond as soon as I get a chance.

  • Hi again,

    I'm not a great writer, but loved reading your last message. You never think that one of your children is going to get Cancer and when it happens boy it does knock you for 6. Still keep on thinking there must be a mistake. Seeing him going through so much pain. I just want to swop places with him. 

    We just need a plan now going forward as I'm sure that would make us feel less nervous about the outcome. 

    As you said, feel free to message any time. Sometimes easier to talk to a stranger.

    Lots of love

    Karen

  • i have been in the same situation, lost my 24 years old son with High grade laymphoma a few months ago

  • Omg, I'm so sorry for your loss. Can't imagine what your going through. Here to chat any time.

    Karen

  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Ghaz. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you have been going through. It is every parents worst nightmare and I hope you have been able to access lots of support to help you through this nightmare. Love being sent to you and your family and rest in peace to your beautiful son.