Death knocking at our door

My father has oesophageal cancer and has been given 6 months.. totally crushed and broken that no treatment can save him.. I feel so so so angry at everyone! Surely there must be something! He’s so young and never hurt a soul, the most loving, caring, kindest person, this isn’t fair at all! I can’t imagine life without him and I’m angry at God for doing this and breaking our family in such a cruel way. I can’t even imagine what he’s going through. We’ve had to move my wedding closer so he can be there and all the future thoughts about grandchildren have suddenly disappeared. How can I ever be happy when we’re counting down the seconds, minutes and hours that painfully pass away… cherish your loved ones, you never know when death will come knocking at the door.. cancer is the cruelest thing and nobody deserves this.

  • Hi

    So sorry to read about your father, it can indeed be very cruel.

    I went to the funeral of a friend recently and the celebrant said that grief is the price we pay for love - that really struck home with me.

    My wife never wanted a prognosis and I struggled with that, it can feel like watching a countdown but we have often seen people live much longer than a prognosis, others seem to almost give up to order and in some cases families can feel robbed when their family member dies earlier than expected.

    If he is able it can be a positive experience to try to put together a memory chest of the good times you have had in the past. I know with my parents we also found out about lots of things from their childhood that we might not have known otherwise. Given their upbringing it made us even more proud to see what they had achieved.

    Hope some of that helps,

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi we are in similar sinking boat. 
    apparently  not much that can be done which I find totally absurd given his good health prior to this and relatively young age. Stent and palliative chemo no other treatment 

    I don’t know what to think Thinking he truly is a diamond and one in a million who goes above and beyond for anyone 

  • I too feel soo sad, angry etc. just like all the emotions you are experiencing right now. I only found out last week my dad has 6mths left too. We didn’t know he even had cancer. It was awful, the whole appt and it didn’t feel real, it was like a dream. I love my dad soo much and can’t imagine life without him. I just cry all the time and am really hoping this will pass. I’m terrified of what lies ahead for my mum and my family. 
    I wish I could help and make you and your family feel better, I can’t sadly but please know…  I too am going through the exact same as you xxx

  • Hello 

    how are you both doing. I am drained and just don’t know how to carry on we are such a close knit family and things are just being ripped away from us. My dad is central to literally everything in my life and I’m struggling so much. 
    mare your dads having chemotherapy? How are they in themselves physically and emotionally? 
    sending lots of love 

  •  morning, I’m exhausted.. I’ve been in hospital myself this weekend with diarrhoea and vomiting. I thought I’d given myself food poisoning! Turns out it is stress?!?! Is this even possible??  
    I am finding life hard too. My dad can’t have chemo and is having a biopsy Thursday to see if he can have immunotherapy but is that worth it? 
    He is deteriorating quite quickly and he takes soo many tablets a day.  
    I’m not sure about your family but one minute my mum says it’s all gonna be ok let’s have a coffee next thing there’s tears. Like you say, it’s ripping us apart too sending thoughts and  prayers

    sarah xxx

  • Oh no poor you. Stress is certainly making us all ill ! Hope you feel better now. 
    We haven’t been offered immunotherapy he’s had a stent and is planning for chemo soon if bloods etc are ok. It’s just that question of balance isn’t it against risk/ benefit. I just can’t bear watching the deterioration it’s literally ripping my heart out 

    we are all rallying round tho and trying our best 

  • Hi,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.

    My dad was diagnosed in November last year with stage 4 stomach cancer. He's now in a hospice and we've been told he only has days to short weeks left.

    I dont know how to carry on with life without my dad. I'm so scared.

    I feel like this is a nightmare and not real. I wish I could take the cancer away from him and life go back to normal. Xx

  • Hi, hi… sorry to hear about your dad too.
    I understand how hard it is and how are we going to face the future without our dads. I’m really scared too. My dad is my fun in life, he plays silly games with my son and runs in the woods with my dogs. Cryit is a living nightmare and I wish I could rip the cancer out too.
    It’s all feeling soo cruel and relentless. 
    take care 

    sarah xxx

  • Our emotions are all mirroring each other’s it’s horrendous and so bloody cruel I totally understand the take time with them and love the time you have but it’s just so unfair he / they deserves so much more and I feel angry and just so overwhelmingly sad 

    take care and I hope your dads aren’t in pain Blue heart

  • Hi. Hope you’re all doing ok. I’m in the same boat as you all too. My dad was diagnosed in November with sarcoma, lung, liver and kidney cancer. Such an absolute shock and nothing could be done in terms of treatment. He wasn’t expected to see Christmas but amazingly he is still here. I’m so proud of him for that and for all he has achieved since his diagnosis. Having a low day today and really feeling quite sad. Like you are all saying, I don’t know how to cope without my dad. He’s my absolute rock, gives the best advice and I know he’s always there for me. I don’t really have any advice unfortunately but wanted people to know they aren’t alone.