My dad has had Stage 4 lung cancer for 4 years and weirdly it has become normal. In the past year he's gradually been getting sicker and sicker but as he has many health issues we'd put it down to these. He recently saw his consultant and asked for a scan as he felt things were getting worse. During this they have discovered his lumph nodes are open and that he now has cancer in his other lung and he now has prostate cancer- there is no function left in the lung with the original tumour. As he's so sick and couldn't get to the hospital we've had to wait for over a month for him to see the consultant - though he's in so much pain he may not make the appointment this week either. We know the news won't be good but he needs the facts.
How do you deal with the knowledge that your parent is dying? I just can't stop crying and every time I speak to my parents or visit it seems to get worse. I know he's 72 and I know everyone dies but I just can't stop the tears. He is in so much pain the his GP just increases his pain relief - they don't know if this is due to cancer or something else. His GP just seems to have given in, the one who visited this week examined my dad and he jumped every time and she just gave him pills to help him sleep. Is he expected to live like this for however long he has left?
I do manage to stop my emotions/tears when I visit my parents but I am struggling to stop them otherwise.
This feels like a very selfish post as dad is going through so much but any advise would be helpful. I've moved to a new area so I don't have anyone here to talk too.
Hi
So sorry to read about your dad but to me your post does not seem selfish at all. I had to learn the importance of caring for myself as do many family members when cancer or indeed any serious illness comes in to the family.
If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can recognize a lot of the emotions we go through. I managed to get a space on a living with less stress course that really helped me. Learned to live in the here and now and appreciate what we have since before I was always imaging the worse - and often crying in the shower. Conscious breathing exercises are great for helping to keep my emotions in check when I need - especially good when those unexpected events come knocking.
Do post on here whenever, someone is always listening.
<<hugs>>
Steve
