Having a bad day

Dad has a temperature a slight one doc said chest is clear is in pain and not eating but we hope dialysis tomorrow may help get rid of flu bacteria.  If he goes. I phoned but he didn't want to speak.

Sister coughing just starting the flu. She texted mum to say she can't come mum replied "okay gommmp" not sure what that means...blame the morphine..

Spoke to ward about mum if her temperature has come down she will have transfusion.  She was going for ct scan.

I am still coughing but my head no longer hot. Didn't get a rest today as sister messaging all day in a panic.

I wonder if I can get to mum tomorrow for a few minutes I have a face mask.

Elenium am not sure whether my Mum will be out of bed again either.

Why has chemo not worked at all for mum? She tried three drugs each of the first two shrunk the cancer briefly but within weeks were dangerously toxic to her.  All chemo has done is make her worse.

So very unfair...and I know on here we've all had the same outcome one way or another.

Jx

Jenny, I know how desperately you want to see your mum but it's a difficult one.  Maybe if you wear the face mask, stay back and don't touch her??  I would be exactly the same in your shoes.

I hope your dad manages to get to dialysis.

X

Jesus how hard can things get!? Elenium, mum-porridge-hand and weakness, she sounds depressed, which is understandable, the disease beats the best at times. Jenny, skype with mum, not the same of course but just migbt help you both ? Brother now living with me.... Off to mums on v long daytrip to sort some affairs, her belived little car being sold today, i cant stay in the house anymore so will get home midnight. Bit scared of my emotions today. Ps NO help re funeral. Surprised?!! X

I think she just doesn't have any energy because she hardly eats and drinks now.

Skype is a really good idea.  We do that with mum and good sister.

Sending you a big hug maisiemae.

X

Sister couldn't go. My aunt went said mum v bad aunt doesn't have smart phone. I will go tomorrow I can't be contagious now.  Hospital said would call if she deteriorated.

Dad not eating and refused dialysis. Hope he rallies.

Tried to call mum but she's not able to answer. 

Please let me get there tomorrow. 

Maisiemae hug...

Jx

Jenny. Go go go xxx

I hope you get there today Jenny. 

X

Mum v bad. Breathing is difficult. Given large morphine and is now knocked out. Ct scan done they think it's disease rather than infection but scan will confirm. 

I am staying a bit but am a bit weak.

Will leave in a while. I'll  miss her forever...

Jx

Jenny, i so hope yr mum is comfortable at the very least, and you can heal yr own body. She sounds so terribly poorly and i know this is so painful to know. Much love x

Sister has to get dad to dialysis tomorrow as he's confused.

Spoke to palliative care team they're awaiting scan results they said they're letting mum cough to expectorate at the moment if mum is edging closer to death they'll help to dry the cough up.

Felt terrible leaving her.

Jx