Having a bad day

Thank you maisiemae and all of you for your thoughts words and wishes, went for a lie down at 5pm Thursday afternoon after shopping for new clothes for my youngest for the big day, exhausted!! Not with the shopping but just the sheer weight of this dreadful situation. Oh how I wish this wasn't happening and that I could wake from this nightmare. Anyway woke up freezing cold at 2:30am came downstairs to have a coffee and flick heating on now just sitting watching stuff on TV in a strange state of numbness and fear of the day ahead. Don't want to say the final physical goodbye don't want the endless procession of mourners saying how sorry they are and how cruel it is and how young she was but can't change it I know. The pain in my chest is awful and I know it's my broken heart. Outside tonight the sky is as clear as ever, full moon shining down on a dusting of snow, one big bright star is shining right in front of our house and I tell myself that's my Jill, watching over us and looking out for us letting us know she is there. 

Every time I wake from a sleep it gets harder, it just starts again! The disappointment that it wasn't just a terrible dream and the realisation she is gone is so painful and upsetting 

Thank you for your support here, the flashes of plum and purple around the country today will make my beautiful lady smile, maisiemae I hope Jill and your mum have met and are having a chat!! She sounds like a wonderful woman

So to the worst day of my children's and my life, I hope we find the strength to do her proud , speak to you all soon, hope today is as good as it can be for you all in your struggle with this most devastating disease . You will all be by my side today and for that I am truly honoured and great full you are all wonderful people 

Yantibee, 

I'll be thinking of you and your boys, wearing purple for your Jill.  Just remember we are there with you holding your hand today.

Sending you all a big hug and love. X

ive hovvered over the like button so many times from prob page 3 of the 55 pages of love and support here. Today more than ever I wish it wasnt a like button. like, feels so inappropriate, what about 'gut wrenchingly with you', 'you must feel sick', 'this sounds familiar and really i understand but know this is all new to you so wont patronise', 'ackowledged and let us know' and 'please know youve done your best and take care of yourself' xxx 

Maisiemae,

I'm completely with you on the Like button.  It seems so false. There should be a Hug button.

Yantibee,  My heart will be with you today. Jenny, I hope you got some sleep.

Elenium & Anna Teresa, Big Hugs to you

Love 

Sue xx

Hug button good, even then it feels a bit - there there then but a great single word. Ive never been one for one words when there are 10 which better suit x

Yes! An empathy or supportive unpatronising we're with you button? Maybe just an image of hands holding.

Like is not right for most of the postings but use it just as we all do as an acknowledgement. 

Please no snow today as going to visit mum later.

Jx

Yantibee and your boys. I keep noticing purple in things around me.

My thoughts today are with you.

Jx

I think this site should take your comments and implement.

It is so true.

Lesley x

Jenny me too. Even partner pointing out. Yantibee you are all hugely in my thoughts today. How can we not give you a little poece od our hearts to help heal yours. Im Dreading mums funeral. Miss her more and more. Like ive been away and talk now back but she isnt there. Its not sunk in. My brain hasnt changed its shape to accept she has gone. She hasnt gone in some ways. She fills my thoughts pretty much constantly. Currently listening to cd of Sound of Music! Something furry about it, feel closer to mum. The dogs have their paws over their ears! The tears are streaming down my face. Off to beach to have the wind on my face. Blustery sunny cornwall. Its heaven. No pun intended x

Sound of Music my Mum's favourite. 

Jx