Having a bad day

Thank you Anneteresa.

How are you doing?

Hello Elenium, how am I? Now there's a question I can't answer yet, I honestly don't know how I am!. It's so strange this feeling of loss I can't explain how I feel which is frustrating for me as I get asked a lot, but I just cannot absorb or get my head round what happened yet, I don't think I am ready to absorb it. 

Maybe today will help as my boys and I will be seeing my beautiful Jill for the first time in a week at the chapel of rest . Private viewing today for us only which strangely we are all looking forward to! Is that weird? We just miss her loads and loads and just want to see her . 

Hope everyone is as ok as can be , love and a hug to you all, thinking of you all x 

Yantibee. .before all this started that may have sounded strange to me but it doesn't at all now. It sounds right and fitting.

Jx

Elenium.  Dad - they took too much fluid off at dialysis as made a miscalculation. So just after I'd settled Mum and sat with my food he got massive cramp in both arms...I thought he was having a heart attack.  He was OK after a while but I was then too anxious to eat. If that had happened I couldn't leave mum on own...thank goodness it didn't. 

Awaiting today's update from stressed sister as I'm at mine cos got doc appointment.  I have a new mole on face and it's a worry as different colour from others. Also want talk about stress.

Like your brother nothing from my aunt..my last message to her was that Mum has another infection and stopped eating...that was on Tuesday. ...no response. .

Hope today goes smoothly for all.

Jx

Yantibee,

I don't think that sounds weird at all. I completely understand. I hope that seeing Jill today helps. 

I also get that you don't know how you are. One of the good things about this site is that you don't have to say I'm fine when someone asks, you can say exactly what you feel and everyone understands.

I'll be thinking of you and your boys today.

Sending you all a big hug. 

Oh Jenny what a bloody nightmare! Glad he's ok now. 

Do you think you want anti depressants? I know I didn't take mine but I haven't ruled them out completely. What about councelling? Although when would you have the time? I have my first session on Tuesday.

Perhaps it's time to give up with your aunt. Not nice I know but you just don't need the extra stress.

Let us know how you get on at the doctors.

I'll be thinking of you too today.

Hugs. X

I think counselling would be good now but I have no time unless it's on a weekend every other week not sure I want to talk about it on weekend off...

Gp said I have upper respiratory chest infection. ..minor one. Mole on face needs checking again in 8 weeks. Probably just a new mole but it's black so can't be ignored (my others are brown) could be age or hormone related too. Don't care if it is benign it can stay.  Said nothing about carer stress except "I'm sorry to hear that" as time had run out...

Not telling parents about mole of course.

Jx

Oh yes Elenium this place is good for saying I AM NOT FINE...

Or I feel loopy

Or I haven't cleaned my teeth today

...my sister and I actually laughed yesterday about the day I went to answer the door with a bra attached to my jeans wearing latex gloves and toothpaste on my top...the same week a bank employee looked me in the face and called me Mr ...I AM MIRANDA... (caught sight of myself in mirror thankfully)

Laughter a rarity....

Jx

I took the dogs for a walk and left my phone at home! I feel very quiet another shocker. Looking at other people through a bubble. Phoning lots of people i dont know in mums address books. Recurring comment 'alicia helped me do x y z', my understated mum helped everyone and i knew but not to the extent im being told. My special beautiful mummy. Im going to help carry her coffin with grandson and others and my brother and i reading eulogy. No black at funeral. Love to all x

Your GP sounds like a gem, Jenny. Nice to get some support...

I wonder if stress can create moles?  I had a couple develop over the last few months.  At least they're keeping an eye on it.

I know what you mean about not wanting to talk about it on your day off.  Sometimes you just need to not think about it, which is hard but when it's there 24 hours a day 7 days a week it can send you loopy.

Hope your chest infection clears up soon.