Dad with bladder cancer struggling to accept further help

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Hi all

It's been a while since I posted here (sorry). I joined around this time last year when my Dad (now 81) was first diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer (high risk NMIBC) and low grade kidney cancer. He had a TURBT last April and had surgery to remove the growths on his kidney in May. He's since been having CT scans and cystography every three months. We were told back last year that the bladder tumours would very likely keep coming back and that is what has been confirmed today. 

I'm up in Scotland and he's down south but thankfully my sister was with him today to discuss things with the cancer nurse. They are planning to use tumour ablation with lasers on the new growths and will likely give a dose of chemotherapy at the same time. One thing we are struggling with is getting him and my step mum (who has health issues and mobility issues) to accept further help. The nurse today stressed that they should speak to their GP about getting district nurse support as they will struggle when he's recovering and if he has side effects to the chemo. They are so far refusing to ask for help and other than giving them the information of what they might need I feel quite useless I guess. 

Sending love and light to all who need it right now. 

Mike 

  • Hi  . Sorry to hear about your Dad. it must be difficult for you living so far away and not getting all the information. I am from the Bladder Group and we know BC has a high rate of recurrence. The regular checks help catch things early and make it easier to deal with. I think you may mean grade 3 rather than Stage 3. Using laser ablation is a positive in the fact that it is usually used for early and small recurrences. Usually done under local anaesthetic and not as invasive as a TURBT. The chemo may be a Mitomycin wash which is administered in to the bladder and kept in for a couple of hours to mop up any rogue cell and help prevent recurrences. I hope all goes well. Best wishes.

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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  • Thank you. That's all really helpful

  • Hi all

    By way of an update, I was able to be there for my Dad when he had the laser ablation a few weeks ago. They also took a biopsy at the same time to determine whether to go down the Mitomycin wash route or consider other options. He's going back tomorrow (19th May) with my brother to discuss the results. Me and my siblings are all very concerned but it's good we've been able to spilt some of the responsibilities somewhat

  • Not good news unfortunately. Results from the latest TURBT showed that Dad's cancer had returned more aggressively but they managed to remove all of it. They believe it's highly likely it will keep returning more aggressively. They discussed the Mitomycin wash with him and my brother but it's been agreed that with his current bladder issues it may cause more problems. The current plan is to have another TURBT in July and go from there. 

    It's so hard to witness Dad going through this when he's been so healthy all of his life, I guess a lot of us see our parents as constant until that view is threatened. 

    Sending love and light to all that need it, Mike