Having a bad day

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Sorry but I'm having a bad day and I just need to let it out.  I woke up feeling like I've had no sleep and really down.  Mum's been bad this week - a lot of pain and, I think, sliding into depression - so I'm in overdrive on worrying about her.  My sister is with her today so I don't need to go round to see mum although I probably will drop round later.  I thought I would throw myself into cleaning the house so make myself busy and then I'd start to feel better.  My fatal mistake was asking my 18 year old daughter to help.  She had a major strop.  I tried to keep calm as I realise that she is worrying about my mum too but it was hard.  I tried to talk to her but she just got worse and worse so I gave up.  Then my husband made sarcastic comments about it all - again he is worrying and his mum is also not well - so I am still trying to keep a lid on it.  But I feel even worse now.  I'm now sitting on the sofa in my pyjama's watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy without the will to do anything else.  I just keep crying and feel so very very sad. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Sue - enjoy yr day with yr friend and a few iced Baileys are de rigeur! So pleased you wont be alone x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Hello all. Been following news but no chance until now to 'talk'. Elenium hope new room is good enough and as long as they treat your mum well and with respect. It must be hard for you. Hoping she finds a kindred spirit in there. X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ola Jenny. 3 days is good for you all. Typibg with eyeball scorching light abovd me as bedside light on floor in kitchen. Had to make a bed for my brother as all rooms full and lounge at mums is fir night carer to sit. Full house here. Bro not seen mum for 4 weeks, seen decline and level of pain and discomfort. He couldnt cope with a few things buts he is here and on kitchen floor! Hospital bed helping mum. Peace love& harmony xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    A shock for him.

    Today was OK although mum in bed all day legs still swollen.   What did they do to her? 


    She said she feels wobbly.  Hope tomorrow is OK but am nervous. 


    May we all and I mean ALL sleep well stay safe and be peaceful. 


    Hugs.


    Jx

  • Hi all,

    Mum moved into new room and is much better.  Bit more smiley. Didn't feel quite so bad leaving her tonight.  Spoke to one of the night carers and she seemed really lovely, not like those from the night before...

    Me and helpful sister will be up at the home all day tomorrow. We will open some presents there  My two girls are coming up too and we're all going to have Christmas dinner with mum.  Then coming home about 7 ish to cook Christmas dinner.  Then we will open the rest of the Christmas presents. I asked my other sister if she could go and see mum about 6 so we could get home a bit earlier but she said no.  She's going to see mum in the morning but won't tell me what time.  If she told me then perhaps I could go a bit later and spend time at home.  Must be nice to have a normal Christmas and not bother about your parent who is very ill and in pain.  Obviously I'm not bitter at all.

    Sue, I'm so glad you won't be on your own tomorrow.  I'm sure it will be a very difficult day.

    Jenny, glad your aunt has finally come. Better late than never.

    Maisiemae, glad that your brother has come.  Better late than never too.

    I am still up as have only just wrapped presents and am still cooking meat for tomorrow,  I've just finished off a box of orange matchmakers and feel slightly sick now.

    I hope that everyone has as good a Christmas as they can. 

    Love and hugs to you all. XXX

    Elenium

  • And now my Christmas is complete! Am currently in A&E with my husband because he can't pee. 

    Elenium

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Elenium

    Oh no Elenium it all sounded hopeful in last posting.

    Has he picked up an infection. 


    A&E Christmas nightmare. I hope (against all experience ) that you're not there too long.


    Hug.


    Jx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh no! We have been awake most of the night. Mum in pain, calls to places 7 hoursxwait for call back. This is why i wanted the driver! I cld scream. And/or weep. Elenium and Jenny and others. Happy Christmas x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Sorry to hear it Maisiemae.  7 hours impossible. 

    Mum been to commode. Just about made it. Chest is whistling. ..another infection or lung mets affecting her?


    Want peaceful time. 


    Sick to stomach of all this.


    Jx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hard though it is, hope you all have a peaceful Christmas Day , sending love hugs and prayers to everyone from here. 

    Been awake most of night, my wife quite unsettled after a difficult time around 11pm, she was incontinent and needed a full wash and change of pyjamas and bedding but movement is really hard now, my youngest helped me move her and support her whilst I washed her which was so upsetting for him. We are wondering if she has had a stroke of some kind or if it's just disease progression so need a doctor this morning .

    More anger from me to her family as her sister was "too busy" yesterday to come see her even for ten minutes ( she only lives 1 mile away) All the others came yesterday to see her but they just sit and look at her like a circus side show with a couple of very helpful exceptions 

    Hate this and what it does to so many lives it's horrible, oh god I have just had a Christmas rant!!! Never mind I guess it happens. 

    Glad we had Christmas Day for my wife last Sunday as she would not be able to enjoy today as she did last week, she must have known when she suggested it, but she is not ready to give in yet , this cancer is going to have to fight to take her she is strong in spirit and in her few moments of the day when she is "with it" there are still glimpses of that wonderful person that is fading away 

    Hope you all have the best day possible x