Having a bad day

We would never think that.  You have lots to do at the moment.

Christmas is an alien place right now.

I'm guessing things will be rather unreal for a while ...

Try to rest when you can. The family can sort themselves out.

Hug.

Jx

I think how you feel is part of grieving, a loss of what became your normal which was a battle. Soldiers have war fatigue. You can be whatever you need to be. I have no idea where you live but if you wanted or needed a 'your person' to be with you i would happily offer if distance wasnt too mad. Ive got big strong shoulders. No response necessary nor required. You choose what you need Sue and in our struggles we were there invisibly, just know we are now too x

What you feel is completely natural. You need to think of yourself now.  Just know that we are still here for you whenever you need us.  

Sending you big hugs and lots of love. X

Hi all.

Not sure what's going on?

Yesterday mum out for coffee. ..not easy as she can't walk more than a few paces.. but done....

She had HUGE baked potato at about 4pm.

Was OK til 5 then coughed badly til late.

This morning she's eating cereal in bed and saying she wants porridge and honey after her shower..she's still got shakiness. ...but...

This time last week she was so utterly frail...bruised and painful ....we must try to enjoy the now...

Hugs.

Jx

Dear sue,

i have followed your story with great sympathy and compassion, although I have not had much to contribute.

I just wanted to tell you that neither of my parents had ' a funeral', in the sense of the big song and dance, because they both made it very clear that they really didn't want it. I didn't go, and my mother didn't go to my Dad's (she was the survivor)  I have no family at all, only child of only children, so none went.

But when  I received the ashes, I made a little ceremony myself, as I thought appropriate, and I felt that that was just as good for the only people that mattered in this, which was them and me. In my mothers case I waited for six months until I felt ready.

you have been a towerof strength, so now it's time to look after yourself.

i hope you find peace and consolation soon

xxNiobe

How's things Maisiemae and Elenium?

Hi Niobe. Read your post very moving. I like the thought of your ceremonies and having them when you were ready.

Jx

Hello another 5 days of up and down, mainly down.mum cant get to commode unaided so social want her in a care home which isnt her wish which means one of us has to be there and therein lies the problem. Ive missed my train and spent a lot of time away from work. So tonight and rest of week playing catchup. She is as weak as a poorly kitten. Her husband now cares only about what will happen to him. Whereas i have a degree of empathy my energy has to be to care for mum - hows everyone? Thinking of Sue too x

Mum's got quite a lot of pain at the moment.  Nurse is going to give her some different anti depressants as she thinks it's nerve pain and they will help. Mum gets quite confused now.  She was texting me last night to come round as she thought that no one else was coming after 5, although the carers and my sister were going to be round.  I asked my sister to write out who will be round on what days.  Hopefully that'll help.

They keep talking about Christmas at work but I just can't get into it.  I love Christmas normally but just seems so pointless.  

Sorry, having a bit of a 'woe is me' moment.

maisiemae, are you entitled to carers leave from work?  Not sure if it's something that the government say everyone can have or if down to each company.  I get 5 days a year.  Not much but it all helps. 

My husband wants me to go out tonight but my brother in law might be there and I don't want to talk to him.  Don't know what to do...

Hugs to all, especially Sue. X

Hi Maisiemae. Did they say which care home? It may be OK although if I were in same position I'd be anxious.

Can hospice help (sorry if you've already been down this route it tires me when people suggest stuff sometimes as already exhausted all avenues).  The hospice here organise carers and send two people if you can't move to commode or to wash.  It's organised by hospice in partnership with Marie Curie. We're in Wandsworth. Social services here have failed to do anything at all.

Sorry it's down at the moment. 

Hug as ever.

Jx

Elenium good idea about writing it for your mum. Maybe pain control will help with confusion.

Going out good but the brother in law may make you fume....part of me says don't go but maybe there's a chance it'll improve things if you do go (not sure how).

About to start cooking. Mum quiet but peaceful today. Very trembley holding a cup is tricky.

Carer who came to help her shower said she loves her job.  I would NEVER choose that role. They're extraordinary. 

"Woe is me" is not to be apologised for.

Sue....hug

Jx