Having a bad day

Enjoy some time at home and try not to feel guilty. Bath, glass of wine, do normal stuff. I cant imagine what normal is but only hope there is a new normal in front of us all. As you say, its been traumatic, scary, and sad. Im not sure if that conditions us to need to help everyone still. I cant help myself. Anyway. Enjoy and be peaceful with ears closed x

Lesley Bobles. I think MIL needs a gentle reminder that you understand her grief so very well but you need support from her to help you understand your own loss. Grrr. Awks xxx

Ps is it really childish to want to have a post on pg 100 of our fabulous book!

Elenium one day i would love to see the photos. Im sure they were beautiful. This time post funeral was one of confusion and feeling lost for me. Wasnt sure what my role in the World was any more. Still not. Rest up and btw i still speak to mum, as there is no grave I talk to her ashes or her ballet photo next to my bed x

Def not...who will score the century?

Just got to flat will unpack. Small photo of mum and electric candle to put next to her today (real one used up).  

I collected her ashes today...as I drove there the music from her funeral played on radio.   A's I drove back. ..they played another piece from her funeral...nice coincidence...

Her ashes are in a scatter tube decorated with a print of spring flowers.

Jx

Nice tube, mums has bluebells and trees on it but NO wish to scatter although we will (one day). And relax x

I had a lovely time with my friends but, since I've been back it's been hard. I fell asleep in the chair yesterday afternoon and got woken up by the most awful nightmare. It was set in an asylum, I was an inmate, and as hard as I could try I couldn't make anyone hear me! I was shouting & crying but it came out like a whisper!! Friends & family would start helping me then they'd disappear! I was so shaken when I woke I ended up having a neat brandy! I don't drink!! I was surprised I slept quite well last night. 

I'm finding I'm avoiding friends where Messenger & emails are concerned. 

What's happening to me, I feel like I'm falling to bits.

I don't like this new reality.

Hugs & care to you all

Sue xx

sounds nice and comforting. And relax x

Sue that last little post was to jenny not yr post. It doesnt sound comforting. Your dream seems to be your subconsious saying you dont feel heard or properly understood. It poss feels safer here as we get where you are and everyone else seems to be on another planet! Maybe you need some small intros when you are ready and meanwhile a little snifter of brandy, may help you relax. Ive thought of meditating but i just cant still my busy mind. Hope you find some readjustment in the coming days and ballet lady speak again soon xxx

Elenium staring sounds right.  No running around or "doing".

Maisiemae my mind is like a hamster in a wheel...not quite sure what it's chasing but it's frantic.

Sue waking from a nightmare like that sounds horrible but you slept later.maybe you processed something in the dream? My sister and Dad and aunts. ..even my cousin have had dreams. I get flashbacks but not dreams yet.

Maisiemae your Mum was a ballet teacher I think you said (sorry memory fog) wish we could see photos here of flowers at Eleniums Mums funeral and all your dogs all of you and the ballet picture.  My Mum made costumes for me when I danced (you can't tell I ever did now unless I point my foot). My dancing teacher (85) and my dance friends came to the funeral.

Sue hope your evening better.

Jx