Having a bad day

Ps odd things today that made me laugh (dark humour).  

Phoned solicitor re getting will and the probate quote.  He asked if Mum was dead....erm...wouldn't it be overly proactive if she weren't? 

Picking up Mums ashes with Dad in the car today I said "how odd to have both parents in the car again" the attendant there said "why didn't they get on?" ...

Even if they didn't it'd be unlikely they'd bicker at this stage!

Jx

Jenny - that has made me laugh!  `reminds me of a dear Irish friend, her folks lived in Ireland in the country, her mum died first and they had a wake where she stayed in the church overnight for mourners to visit, as the father had been to the Church to pay for this service when jumping into the horse and cart as he and my friend left he said to her 'jeesus irene, and thats the cost without breakfast!', maybe its better when she tells me the story with her wonderful thick Irish accent as her dad had, but his humour was marvellous.  Trying to remember more funny times, how mum and I laughed as I clambered over her to measure her for her wicker coffin we bought online, and there were different sizes, we were debating the arm position measurement, arms by her side made her wider, so she put them on her chest. We had a special relationship my mum and I.   Dark or light humour is good at this time especially, Mum was one cert short of being a dance teacher so no she never was, she found boys! but ive got a beautiful photo of her in her ballet dress on points.  My type of dancing is more free and crazy although I cant recall the last time I danced now, barefoot in the sand. Now go and have that lovely time at home xxxx

Whoever is the first to type on page 100 has to buy a bottle of pop when we all meet up xxx

Hi all,

I spent the morning sitting around doing nothing, then I had a go at the people who still haven't collected mum's commode and started to feel better so I went and mowed the lawn.  I felt much better then.  Our garden was completely paved unil last summer (leftover from the last owners) and I finally have a lawn.  The next step is plants.  I have some in pots that came with me from my last house and I'm going to have some of mum's.  She loved hydrangeas - I hate them - we used to have 'debates' about the pros and cons of them.  So I have decided to take one from her garden to put in mine.  I know it would make her laugh as everytime I look at it I will think how much I hate it, but love it because it reminds me of her.  I'm taking some of her roses too and a few others.  She had loads of pots and statues too, so sisters and I are going to split them between us.

Jenny I have decided to do the probate myself.  It's actually pretty straight forward. I know that you don't really want more stuff to do but you should look at doing it yourself.  It will save you quite a bit of money.  I begrudge paying solicitors when I can do it myself.

I had a card today from someone I used to deal with in my last job.  She had heard about mum and went out of her way to get my address and write to me.  Some people are so lovely.

I hope everyone gets some sleep tonight (minus nightmares and flashbacks).  Thinking of you all, my lovely friends.

X

Hi Elenium. Does your Mums probate involve a property too. Think I'd need to know how to get property solely in mums name assented to Dad's? 

Just watched Appletree Yard beginning to end.

Night night 

Jx

Hello Jenny, hoping you had a better night.

When I phoned our solicitor ref Bobs will, she said that the deeds could be transferred to my name solely. Just need to contact the Land Registry, not legally necessary but just keeps things more straight forward for when I die so I shall do that. Guessing your mums will left house to your dad and vice versa as ours were? Didn't need to go to probate.

Lesley x

Thanks Lesley.  Just to be clear the property is currently solely in mum's name. She has left it to Dad in her will. So it needs to change from her name to his.  Is that the same as your situation? 

Ps.  I SLEPT!

I now feel I just want to speak to Mum again. How DARE this disease take her away. She was 76 but before cancer she was cycling swimming walking. Too early for her to go.  As she had to die then how DARE it torture her so much in her last days? 

I intend to help the charity Dignity in Dying when I can. When no more can be done doctors should be allowed to help (as mums ones would have liked to).

I hope you can all understand. 

Love.

Jx

A. We are on pg 100! B. Not sure if you remember me banging on about Dignity in Dying after my mum died but you were all in the middle of your fights still C. Maybe that is where we can work together D. The horrors of this disease and im sure others means a lot of suffering E. I felt sensitive to everyone that was fighting to stay alive at the time and feel this may not be the right forum unles MacMillan felt the same. F. you slept yay! G. appletree was fantastic! H. The new one is good... Watched ep 1 last night grr cant remember name. Having been through lonely times with mums passing i cld be involved in a group Re UK Dignitas type project X

Ps my mums doesnt need probate, yes a house and a husband and an equity release company involved

Oh holy crap. ...it was me wasn't it means I owe everyone a bottle of pop...Tizerr? 

If you get a chance look at Dignity in Dying.  For me it is not for when things are difficult or 'terminal' as life is still very valuable and has good moments ... but for when there is no treatment no help palliative is doing nothing for them and they are just waiting as systems shut down when it is vile for them. My Mum was NOT made comfortable although they tried.

Hmm think property needs Assent to Dad's name?

Mums account doesn't need probate...she has £6 in it ☺

Jx