Having a bad day

Hello Sue,

Goodness, has it really been that long, of course it has and things don't feel better at this stage. You have had a lot to deal with, and are still dealing with it. My heart goes out to you. Whereabouts in Essex do you visit, I lived in Colchester for many years, and my sister still lives there. It is also where my Mum died, and her ashes are scattered at the Crematorium. I must say I have admired your strength, and how you have handled this.

Take care, Anneteresa

....and Dad is up again.

One day he will sleep through. 

Mildly hysterical due to no sleep. ...me that is..

Classic FM playing Figaro. ..made me giggle no idea why.

Sister taken nytol. 

Dad now pacing up and down. ..

Zzzzzzz

Jx

AT sadly not really restful. Clearing mums house alone. So highly emotional. Went to see muns husband in the very nice home he is now in. Await news this week re whether he can stay. Sad but my brother isnt interested in doing the tough stuff. My sister does do things but appearing without emotion. All in all a very tough lonely weekend. Im terribly low. No family togetherness here at all. Beginning to think its me. They have moved on. I am still in trauma. Thankyou though for hoping for r and r for me though. The fog i still thick and i feel so unsupported 

Maisiemae that's so difficult for you.

I'm dreading sorting Mum's clothes and of course she has a property in Sussex to clear when sold on behalf of Dad.

How's her husband doing? 

Do you think sister has definitely moved on or maybe she is in and out of grief? Brother avoiding tough stuff...that's helpful. ..not!

My sister wants to give away something to her friend. I said not yet please and it's Dad's not hers to give away.  It's too early. It's a tiny bear Mum had put sitting in a tiny pink espresso cup and saucer.  For me it's because Mum had arranged it that way rather than about the thing itself... my sister is OK with it...I am not.

Jx

Hi always optimistic,

(That's quite a long name, can I call you Al?) 

You struck a real chord with me with your description of your da d shouting if you put a breathing of place! That's exactly how my OH is at the moment, waiting for the latest scan results. I sometimes think I will be dead from stress before he gets them. The refusal to mention it,  let alone discuss, does make it worse.

I also recognise your description of your Mum, mine was just the same when my father was dying of cancer, she used to get really ratty with him because he couldn't do his usual tasks. I promised myself that I would never behave like that in similar circumstances, and oh! I do try to stick to it but my lip is bleeding from biting.

I don't have any advice or solution, just to say, you have to just try to stick it out and behave as well as you can, for your own sake. If you can manage to live up to your own standards, not  adopt those of the

People around you if you think that they are wrong, you keep yourself intact.

I hope so, anyway

Let's hope for a good day today

XxNiobe

Oh maisiemae, that's terrible.  I wish we could come and help.

We've arranged to sort out mum's things in a couple of weeks.  GS is going to come down for the weekend and we're all going to do it together. Although neither of my brothers have said that they are definitely coming.  I can see it being me and my sisters.  It will be extremely emotional, I'm sure.  Mum had a huge box of old photos and we need to sort those out too.  At least we'll be able to remember the good times looking at those.

I don't want to go back today.  Dreading it.

Love and hugs to all. X

Yantibee fab you had a lovely day. Jenny, you will sleep with exhaustion eventually and i try not to go on too much about things as i know you are a bit behind in the similar process. Its all hard. Sad i cry alone. Brother not interested particularly other than to make things difficult! Sister will only do alone. Mums husband cries and then laughs and can be inappropriate. Mild distemper i want to say but know thats dogs and can remember the word which is ironic! Elenium, so pleased you had a good weekend, i think going past yr mums house all the time meant you were physically close all that time you cared for her and presumably before as well so how wonderful to be close - proper family closeness - how i wish mum had lived nearby. Its all tough isnt it. Love to all. Life feels so difficult right now x

Dementia maybe Maisiemae?

I contacted cruse bereavement today & just had a call back from a lovely lady called Sarah. She's going to email me some details & information. Maybe it'll help.

Love to All

Sue xx

Yes dimentia not distemper! Hope Cruse help you.xx

Every moment of the day taken up with funeral and family at the moment. I appear to be the gatekeeper. 

I did phone hospice for counselling they suggest early April as they say takes couple of months to process things and get past funeral etc....

Jx